The unspoken rules of living in Amsterdam

Damn, have I already told you how intensely I love you? Yes, you are particularly bad for my bank account because you are expensive, after all. There is so much to do, too many coffee spots where you can find me on the weekends – the latte factor, remember? And all those little wines at the Waterkant in West when the sun is shining: terror for my money.

But for now, I'm completely in my element here. Paris is still my great love and London my mistress, but Amsterdam, we’re buddies for life.

Is our capital also your home base? I asked my fellow Amsterdammers (yes, okay, some say you have to live here for at least ten years to call yourself that, but so be it) what the unspoken rules and facts of living in this city are. You ready?

1. Do you live in West? Pfff, then no way you’re going to bike all the way to East. And vice versa.
2. But secretly, you know that Amsterdam really isn’t that big.
3. And that we’re actually all import-Amsterdammers, but no way you say you come from one of these places in the middle of nowhere..
4. The Kalverstraat? Oh, hellllll no. The last time you were there was probably when you had to do last-minute Christmas shopping for your mother-in-law or something. But otherwise, this is known as the no-go zone, because: tourists in abundance.
5. Traffic lights? They are only meant for those same tourists who think they know how to bike (the horror), but you just glide through everywhere.
6. And if you run into someone you know or vaguely know, you just greet them with one kiss. No awkward stuff like ‘do you give three kisses, yes or no?’
7. You are a pro when it comes to complaining. Mainly complaining about everything the tourists (there they are again!) do wrong. Like walking super slowly. Especially in the middle of the street in the 9 Streets. Why guys, why?
8. You don’t drink drinks somewhere on the Damrak or Leidseplein, because those places are a bit like shopping in the Kalverstraat: leave it to the non-Amsterdammers. You don’t want to be found dead here.
9. Eating out happens weekly. Do you find it strange with so many cool new places constantly popping up? So many that it’s sometimes hard to keep up.
10. The sneakers someone wears say enough about the clique in the city they belong to. And I could now elaborate on all the cliques, but if you live here, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
11. Actually, you almost have to get a pet here. A cat to be more precise (Look, reason for you to move to Amsterdam). Because what is also in abundance in Amsterdam are mice.
12.  You are a professional mover. Finding homes here is hell, so you go from one temporary home to another until you finally (after years) find a little palace.
13. Amsterdam is simply the best city to live in as a millennial. You didn’t need research for that.