The very best Expedition quotes from Kaj
Okay okay, he may not have won, but can someone please give this brilliant bouncy ball a statue of his own? A wax figure in Madame Tussauds then? A personal tear-off calendar? Something? Since the party is really over now and we Kaj Gorgels and will all intensely miss his jungle quotes: one more time his most beautiful one-liners in a row.
About the food supply on the island…
“That crab was so big. If you put a saddle on it, it would take you straight to Spain.‘
About sex…
“Every woman needs a beast in the mosquito net.”
About the tropical showers in the Philippines…
“It’s as WET here as a lifeguard.”
About his teammates…
“We live in a burned-down village. And we long for a father who can give us a smack. We. Need. Henk.”
About his favorite girlfriend…
“I was already long at that T-Rex not stepping off the boat.”
About his favorite girlfriend 2.0
“And Soundos? Is she doing well? Too bad.”
About his favorite girlfriend who eats prawn crackers during the merger…
“I hear a voice behind me that I don’t want to hear anymore. I’m not going to turn around because I don’t want to be distracted – OR traumatized.”
About Imke…
“I don’t know what Imke has, but she makes the whole island fertile.”
About Carlos’s sense of direction…
“Carlito sends a bit like my nose is on my face: crooked.”
About his ‘voice box’…
“There’s an extra voice in here, so I can use that too. And otherwise, I can always use the casing as a penis holder.”
About one of the trials…
“I had a coconut, there was half the North Sea in it, man!”
About crab whisperer Niels…
“I arrive here and he’s sitting there like a kind of neglected chef. Who has been on ketamine for four weeks. He’s sitting there a bit distracted shouting: ‘Yes, you really have to catch your own crabs, because I caught this one, this is MY crab.’”
About the little figure coming in the boat…
“Could it be Shelly again? Then I’ll really laugh the coconuts out of my pants.”
About that English pronunciation of that tricky piece of fruit…
Niels: “Is it pineapple? Or enenes?”
Kaj: “An anus.”
About Carlos’s condition…
“That Spanish pepper has the lung capacity of an elk!”
About that giant tuna…
“Then you’ll eat yourself into debt relief if you order something like that in a restaurant.”
About Niels’s always cheerful mood…
“Niels is really grumpy, as grumpy as a nun who hasn’t had sex in 25 years.”
And last but not least my favorite: about the terror fly…
“Get lost, you annoying fly. Can’t you see I’m having a hard time? Just buzz off for once, man. That’s also something from here… The insects and flies around you here already think you’re dead. They think: ‘Well, yeah, I’ll give him another night. Then he’s completely dead. I’ll look for a spot.‘‘
If it’s not clear yet: this Rotterdam weirdo is a hero. We need more Kaj in the world. Friend, bring on that theater show! Okay okay and on my Insta Stories @kikiduren a little ode to Kaj then.
By the way, read everything back here about the brilliant finale of Expedition Robinson.
