Fun & Famous
THIS IS HOW YOU BRING THE KARDASHIANS
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My girl crush Jennifer Lawrence is also a fan of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, so no, I absolutely do not feel ashamed of my guilty pleasure. All of Kim's marriages, Scott and Kourtney's on-and-off relationship, Kylie’s transformation (she can deny it all she wants, but come on; no one can have made such a transformation without a little help from a few injections and a knife), and of course there’s momager Kris and Bruce who suddenly became Caitlyn.. I watch everything.
The Kardashians and Jenners. You just have to see them as the gift that keeps on giving, whether you like it or not. And now that I’m talking about gifts, do you want to surprise a friend with something from the royal family of reality TV? Here’s all the nonsense from the Kardashians/Jenners that you can buy.
Kylie & Kendall Black Diamond Couture Pop
A lollipop. For twenty-six dollars. The perfect accessory for all those red carpets you have to walk and all the selfies you have to take. You have two options: the ‘Black Diamond’ or the ‘Gray Sparkle’. How do they taste? No idea, but probably better than the lollipops you used to get from your doctor as a kid.
Zestra
Does he always want it more than you?? Thank goodness we have Kris Jenner to rekindle your desire. Zestra, a blend of plant extracts ‘to experience deep pleasurable sensations’. So that’s just lubricant, ladies.
Kardashian Kids gold leggings
They obviously have much more than just a gold legging, but if you feel like dressing your child in something mega ordinary, then this is the way to go.
A Kardashian debit card
If this also gives you access to all the millions they rake in every year: bring on the card! But bad news for anyone who wants to see the faces of Kim, Khloé, and Kourtney every time they have to swipe their card; these debit cards only lasted a month..
Arthur George socks
Even the man in the Kardashian house has found a way to score our bucks: his own sock line with sayings on the bottom of your foot. ‘Hot Mama’, ‘Naughty Mama’, ‘Rich Bitch’, ‘Bad Ass’, and ‘Milf’. That kind of nonsense on your feet, no one sees it, but it’s still funny.
Rebels: City of Indra & Time of the Twins
And you thought the Jenner sisters did nothing but plump their lips and wear questionable outfits. This duo has no less than two books to their name. The reviews are terrible but hey, we didn’t expect anything else...
Dollhouse: A Novel
What Kendall and Kylie can do, the other three K’s can do too. Kim, Kourt, and Khloé have written the book ‘Dollhouse’ together, a story about the Romero sisters that suspiciously resembles the lives of the Kardashian sisters. Again, the reviews are not great, I mention ‘unreadable’, the word ‘terrible’, and a ‘garbage’, but um, if you’re a real fan, you can’t not read this, right?
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