THIS IS HOW YOU DEAL WITH THAT
BAD COMMENT ABOUT
“Blue looks so great on you and your makeup looks really good today, I must say.” Isn’t it lovely, those compliments? Normally, you should just pocket them right away, but that doesn’t apply when you’re wearing a rather bold yellow top that day, and I’m not even mentioning your makeup. It’s just veiled criticism, a sneaky jab, and the generous compliment-giver is actually saying that yellow looks terrible on you. Sorry, don’t shoot the messenger, someone has to say it.
Sometimes you receive a comment and it leaves you a bit confused. You know, it seems sweet and it’s nicely wrapped and dressed up, but in the meantime, it’s just a bad comment. Basta, nothing more, nothing less. You’re immediately thrown off balance because – huh – was this a nice gesture or was it actually sneakily mean? You only realize after a day that you’ve been seriously dissed. But if your gut feeling doubts the statement, you can bet it’s not nice. Your gut feeling aka your intuition is the gauge in these kinds of situations. Yes, some are a bit more sensitive and notice the awkwardness in their stomach faster than others, but the fact remains that your intuition tells you. And admit it, how often is it wrong? I’m just saying.
Things you dismiss as jabs are often not so innocent; it can even be verbal aggression. Well, well, well… But it wasn’t that bad, was it? Yes, it was. You don’t feel comfortable with what the person says to you, and that crosses a line, so you can categorize it under that heading.
Are you getting comments from this spectrum thrown at you? Then just dig deep and listen to that gut feeling. here Marion tells you what to do with it.
- No, never mind, you can’t help me with this. Ouch.
- I think a skirt looks so good on you. Greetings from the woman in jeans.
- Oh, what a unique dress you’re wearing. I don’t think it suits you, but more for her. Bam bam bam, a three-in-one, ladies and gentlemen.
- Lil also sometimes gets the above in the form of pants, and it sounds like this: ‘Oooh, what unique pants you’re wearing..’ Well, Lil… I just love it.
- I’ll do that for you, you always react a bit strongly in those kinds of situations. This is the sweet-and-jerky-in-a-mother-thing.
The relief from this debacle? It usually comes from the social ineptitude of the other person. Incompetence, insincerity, and more of that awkwardness. Oh well. Shouldn’t you wrap that knowledge up as a compliment in return, because then you’re engaging in a very aggressive, intentional form of verbal aggression. And that, dear everyone, is not as innocent as it seems.
Source: Psychologie Magazine
