Issues that you only recognize if you come from a small village

Before I get everyone from all corners on my case that I'm not a real village person; that's true. But my love does live in Epe. If you're thinking: eh, where? That's somewhere in Gelderland and I'm there every weekend. Read here just how it is to hook a polder boy, then you can immediately brush up on your farmer's dictionary.

To be completely honest: I resisted Epe at first. Against all that ‘farmer nonsense’. This diva felt way too oh my Gucci for. But after seven years I can say: that little village in the east has become part of who I am. With one foot in the Amayzine world of glitter and glam and the other heel in the clay. It really helps with that balance #JeWeetZelfEnzo. But as relaxed as it is to blow off steam in the fields after a busy work week in Amsterdam, sometimes living in a village can also be one big struggle...
And that's why it's time for your list of all the crappy things you only recognize if you live in a village:

‘With one foot in the Amayzine world of glitter and glam and the other heel in the clay.’

Public transport equals terror

Suppose you miss that bus, huh... Then you might as well go back home first, do a load of laundry, make some coffee, take a little siesta and then walk back. In some villages, the bus goes ONCE. AN. HOUR. STOP. IT. WITH. ME.

Ordering food = crying

Type thuisbezorgd.nl and you get one option. The local snack shed where they will definitely hang some fries in the fat for a nice deerntie. The horror. Foodora? Never heard of it. Deliveroo? Nope, forget it.

Everyone knows everything about each other

So you think you have secrets? Haha. Ha-ha-ha. We know each other, girlfriend. The neighbor knows what you ate last night AND with whom.

Original last name? Forget about it

One way or another: it basically comes down to the fact that you are always someone’s family and the chance that you sit in class with a cousin is also uh, quite present.

Going out is uh, difficult

Because if you really want to go all out, you have to think about how on earth you're going to get to the big city. The taxi will cost you a fortune, the bus is not an option because then you won't get back and so it will be another three quarters of an hour of pedaling your lungs out. On that damn bike. Poor, poor you...