This is what you can do in an uncomfortable situation

(6 definitely good tips)

Admittedly, it may not happen to us so quickly that we end up in a James Comey-like situation where the president of the United States (by the way, these are the worst quotes from der Donald) calls us to the mat, with no one else present. Comey, a man of unprecedented stature, was what we colloquially called flabbergasted. So surprised by the situation and what was said that he was literally a bit ‘out’ for a moment. Did not respond. Did not act adequately and Trump pointed out how inappropriate and rude the situation was. He was overwhelmed.

Yet we almost experience it daily when someone says something that makes you think: what are you actually saying? Am I hearing this right? Seriously? Women are almost daily intimidated. The advantage is that we are armed against unkind remarks or insinuations, but still. How often do we only realize after a conversation that something was really very unkind. Through damage and disgrace a bit wiser, I give you some tips to crawl out of such an awkward situation.

1. Humor

The very best and most polite method. You give the other person an escape. By countering the remark with a joke, you might think that the other person meant it humorously too. Make sure you always have some deployable classics up your sleeve. They don’t even have to be brilliantly funny, as long as you bounce the ball back. “No, you draw full houses.”, “This remark borders on the brilliant.”, “What do you think yourself?” or: “Anything else?” Come up with something, but pull the situation into the ridiculous. Hold up a mirror to the other person and ensure that with the joke you can both jump out of it reasonably lightly.

2. Repeat the question

This shows the other person how ridiculous the question is. “You want me to do the dishes every day from now on?” or: “Ah, so you want me to stop sitting with my colleagues and sit with the interns instead?” Repeating the question acts as a mirror for the questioner and gives you a few seconds to think about an answer.

3. Let a silence fall

Also a great tool to give yourself some extra time to think about an answer and to let the other person gently feel that their question or remark was a bit below the belt. The other person will feel a bit uncertain anyway, because why the pause and how will you strike back? Think of something brilliant!

4. Take a different path

Say something completely different. “This reminds me so much of that time when…” And off you go. The conversation pushed in another direction and done. Now you can quietly prepare for the time when the attacker comes at you again.

5. Bounce the ball back

What also works very well is if someone criticizes you or says something strange, you immediately go on the counterattack. Say: “Oh sorry I have to laugh a bit because there’s something between your teeth.” Even if it’s not true, say it. The other person will immediately feel less strong and you grow. Or imagine the other person naked, that always works well too.

6. THIS is what I should have said

You had such an incredibly awkward situation and four hours later you come up with a brilliant response. THIS is what you should have said. But now it’s too late. What should you do? Call the person and say it anyway. Nah, that shows you are really preoccupied with it and makes you weak and vulnerable. Keep it in mind, store the brilliant response and use it strategically in the next awkward situation. Because that will come. That’s one thing that’s for sure.