What you should never ask a lesbian

It was in the evening, I believe in winter. You should know that my best friend is not nervous by nature, so when she kept spinning around in my black Ikea chair in my student studio, I knew it was serious. She had to tell me something. She was in love. With a woman. For the first time in her life. Joyful news: she still is. They have the most beautiful son together, but strange questions they get. I had no idea.

Oh, of course I wanted to know everything at first, but that's what your best friend is for. I still want to know everything. But maybe it even tempered my shamelessness a bit that this time she was in a relationship with a woman. As if it became more personal, more private. I dare to ask anything about men.

Only now I have discovered that it actually works the other way around with people. If you are a lesbian, you get the most cringeworthy questions. I collected them and when I heard them, I stomped around the house, shocked and sometimes laughing in disbelief. It's so absurd, inappropriate, and unbelievable. You just can't believe it. When you are together as a woman and woman, a curiosity arises in people that makes you scared. A selection from the repertoire…

1. Which of you is the man?

Shame on you, in a corner. In a lesbian relationship, there are no men.

2. Who takes out the trash then?

If you don't stop soon, you will do that as punishment, the whole week.

3. Are you both on your period at the same time?

But really, when was the last time you asked your neighbor aka distant colleague about her menstruation? Exactly.

4. How does it work if you want children?

Just, differently. But you wouldn't ask that if Piet and Grietje expressed their desire for children, would you?

5. Oh, you don't look lesbian at all.

…

6. Also often heard: when you tell that you have a woman, people start saying that they don't mind it at all (?)

Because the cousin of a friend of the neighbor also has a woman and she is also completely normal.

7. There seem to be men who get a twinkle in their eyes, making you feel uncomfortable.

Yuck, perverts.

8. In the same category: the tough guy who says: “If you had met me earlier, you would have squeaked differently.”

Okay, and now shut up, cowboy.

9. Oh how convenient, if one can't get pregnant, the other just does it.

But, did you really say this?

10. But if you've always had men, what are you then?

A woman, dear everyone, a woman.

And sometimes people just need to go back to biology class...

11. True story: someone who thought a lesbian woman would have sex with a man to get pregnant. And asked: “Is your wife just there?” Yes, because it's in a hospital? “Oh, you don't really have sex with anyone?”

I can't handle this.

Once and for all: if a woman is with a woman, it doesn't mean you get a free pass to ask the most silly, outrageous, and shameless questions or make comments. Enough now, go and be ashamed once more , thanks from the undersigned., It was in the evening, I believe in winter. You should know that my best friend is not nervous by nature, so when she kept spinning...