9 signs that you are a cheese junkie
Hey cheesejunkie, you’ve got issues. You are the person in your friend group who eats an disproportionate (let's just say ridiculous) amount of cheese. You can't help it, but it has to be. Everything is tastier with cheese. And you know it.
How do you find out if you have real cheese issues? I would say: take the test.
1. You appreciate cheese in its many forms
Young or old, goat or cow, melted or solid, in slices or cubes. Sticky or dry, with blue mold or walnut. Soft or hard. Appenzeller, brie, camembert, cheddar, Emmental, feta, Stilton, gorgonzola, Gruyère, manchego, mascarpone, mozzarella, Parmigiano Reggiano, Raclette, Roquefort; you don’t give a FAQUE, as long as it’s cheese.
2. You once said…
…“If I had to choose between cheese and … (name something: sex, meat, alcohol), then I choose cheese. For sure.”
3. Your family and friends no longer ask what kind of pizza you want
They know damn well that quattro formaggi is the answer. What else is new?
4. Making a toastie becomes a real art project
How much cheese would fit in before it overflows?
5. You are always tagged in those greasy cheese videos on Facebook
That you watch completely. In. Trance. With. Saliva. In. Your. Mouth. To then rush to the supermarket for a goooooooeie cheese.
6. You actually don’t want to hang out with people who don’t like cheese
HOOOOOOO. Wait a minute. You don’t like what? What are you saying?
7. If someone asks if you want to cheese fondue, you cancel all your appointments
To then name three places where the cheese fondue is the best. Has your dining companion ever had cheese with truffle?
8. Dessert? You go for the cheese platter
Because of course you save room to finish with a grande spectacle.
You have also asked in the restaurant if it cheese platter could perhaps be served as a starter.
9. You deny that there are many calories in cheese
Cheese is a natural product. From a cow. That is grazing in the meadow. That cow eats grass. Cheese contains calcium, vitamin B12, and vitamin D. HELLO?! Cheese is actually just vegetables. So. That’s it for the big dairy crack test.
Between 0 and 3 answers recognizable?
Friend, what are you actually doing on this page? Here, go read a little about penises. There.
Between 3 and 6 answers recognizable?
You’re doing well. Try to have breakfast with cheesecake more often and you’ll be fine.
More than 6 answers recognizable?
The chance that you have a problem is seriously present. Girl, you’re a cheese junkie. I think we could be friends.
