Expedition Robinson babbles

Gooooood morning cassava slaves, how's life? Are you off to work? Or are you already eager to head full speed towards osso? You're right. Just a little more to bite through and then you'll blast into the weekend. With a fries oorlog joh, I know you, it's Friday. But first, of course, let's babble about Ex Rob, you know me. Time for episode two, howzee!

1. I think that missing firestone is just hard karma from Mother
Nature. Like; are you trying to light a fire in my osso? With your kitchen in my sea, huh? Are you sure about that? Here with your shitty firestone. Away into the night. HATSAKEE.

2. By the way, I've never seen two divas like Josylvio and Aisha. Get a grip. Give those people a warm meal, man. They might start gnawing on a piece of leg from Jody Bernal.

3. Top 3 awh-moments this episode

– Jan pronouncing the word ‘crop’. Melting.

– Jody sprucing up camp zeiksnor with a market stall of fruits.

– The blossoming friendship between the Braboneger and Corrie King.

4. I could theoretically say something about the tattoo on Gwenda's belly now. And that Bertie's horse navel tattoo (we miss her) suddenly makes sense again. Could be.

5. Nienke, girl, you rock that panther bikini fucking hard. The tit party (plastic fantastic or not) is also worth mentioning. It must be said.

6. The contrast between Donny, who splashes coconuts around like a sweaty gorilla, and Dalai Lama Steven, who builds a ladder for the first time in Robinson history, is so nice that I could cry.

7. Meanwhile, Aisha has stolen the octopussy from Camp Unknown and nonchalantly hidden it on her head. Seriously guys, how does no one see it, come on.

8. I mean: we all know that Aisha is the new character of Jandino Asporaat, right? The TV canteen then? Wendy van Dijk? Anyone??

9. Who else was waiting for the moment when Corry suddenly started singing ‘whores don't work anymore’? I HOPED SO BADLY.

10. I don't want to ruin it for the women who are totally into Donny a.k.a. the DonDon, but my colleague Annick texted me yesterday: ‘Have we figured out that all the footage of Donny is in the intro of the first captain's duel? Maybe because there aren't any other striking images of him on the island?’ Well, damn... Stuff to think about.

11. Some faces look inviting to smear something on, you know that? Doesn't matter what, something, as long as it's juicy. I feel that way about Gwenda. Is it time to mention that she has a vajayjay? I think she might freak out.

12. If the factory settings of ‘EYO CAPTAIN GWEN’ suddenly get a total error...

How's the atmosphere?
‘GOOD.’

How's it going?
‘TOP.’

Are you a woman?

‘YES.’

‘NO.’

‘I DON'T KNOW.’

‘PENIS.’

‘DISCOVERED.’

‘EXPLOSION MECHANISM ACTIVATED.’

‘3... 2... 1...’

13. Cracking up at the moment when Camp North walks in extremely ghetto with improvised balaclavas and Nicolette casually says: ‘If it's useless, can I ask you to take it off?’ Oh sorry. *Takes off cloth. HAHAHA.

14. It's quite a shame that camp firestone doesn't have to do a test. Honestly, you disaster tourists are also waiting for Aisha to start digging with those claws.

15. Phew. From the ‘move the pole-proof’ even an average pole dancer would get a stroke. And is Camp Unknown secretly on speed or something? Jan: ‘Nice BN'ers to tackle.’ Can someone tell those people from the sectarian Amish village that BN'ers are not a separate race on earth? Joe?

16. No. This isn't really happening. This is a joke. Saving calories while the race isn't over yet? Is Camp North seriously giving up? BIZAR. Has this ever happened in the history of Robinson? Twitter is going wild. ‘That Toni Peroni is like the captain of the Titanic, he also left the sinking ship first.’

17. Can Camp South just consist of 3 Corry's and 4 Stevens? I suddenly feel this happy vibe very strongly.

18. Next week? Private concert Corry Konings in the Philippines sold out within a quarter of an hour, Braboneger staging a coup to dethrone DonDon and the whole Camp South in the shitter due to Jody's diarrhea fruit. Don't wanna miss this shit. Literally.

P.S.: Want to chat a bit more? Check my Instagram at @kikiduren. Where we might be raffling exclusive designer furniture from Corry Knopings. Maybe.

P.P.S.: The big question is, did Kaj wear Luuk's blouse during Eilandpraat?

P.P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you also heard Famke Louise say four whole words this episode and Stijn secretly thinks she walks like a little bodybuilder. Yeah, what, I just see it.

See you next week, coconut cuties, laaataaaah.