If we have to choose, we prefer a massage over sex

If you think that we are still wild these days: meh. We prefer to be a bit lazy than tired, so to speak.

It turns out that more and more people prefer to receive a massage from their partner before going to sleep rather than having sex. Away with the quickies. We want to be kneaded. To be kneaded. Certainly, a quarter of people indicate that they prefer to be tickled and cuddled after a long workday instead of getting back into position having to rush so much. Now, an occasional massage is wonderfully relaxing and welcome. But wait a minute. Rather than sex?

How often do we still do it? People between the ages of 18 and 29 have the most sex of all age categories. They do it an average of twice a week. People between 30 and 39 do it an average of 1.6 times a week, and people between 40 and 49 do it an average of once a week. In short: our libido decreases somewhat with the years. And in the Netherlands, we do it about three times a month, on average, across all ages. Three times. Does that make us happy about it? You can say it yourself. By the way, something remarkable has emerged in the wonderful world of science. It seems that 92% of men really enjoy every sexual encounter. Okay, that's fine. But that figure is contrasted with 75% of women. Just because women don't always find it very enjoyable and don't see stars flying, they more often choose a nice back massage in bed, then. Aha. That explains it. But...

Tut tut. I don't want to sound condescending, but darlings... A massage. Is. Not. Sex. Keep that in your lustful ears and spread your legs tonight. And just make sure you see stars. It's also good for your back, you know.

• FACTS
  Couples with a television in the bedroom have 50% less sex than couples without a television
• If you sleep on your stomach, you dream more about sex
• 8% of people who cheat do this because they are sexually dissatisfied with their partner