Kiki's Expedition Robinson Babbles

Please take a look outside. Seen it? What a terrible weather. The horror. Can you imagine living, eating, sleeping, going to the bathroom outside all day, the whole shebang? Ah, now it all makes sense, Laurie. That face. I would also be fucking sour staring at the world from under that poncho. Eyes squinting. Grumpiness squared.

When I woke up this morning, it suddenly popped into my head. A little realization. Damn it, loyal readers. Can you imagine that we have been doing this for over three months now, babbling together? A big fat feather in your ass if you've been here since week 1. Okay, enough of the sentimental nonsense, on to Ex Rob. Stevens mindfuck from last week could of course not be surpassed, we already knew that. So this time we got a typical filler episode served. Not particularly exciting, but a nice little test. Shall we? I thought so.

1. Can someone explain to me why we always see candidates sitting in such a poncho on the ground between the palm trees in the rain when they could just be under a covered hut? You would stay there during a tropical storm, or is it just me?

2. Say, I'm not usually jealous of everything those candidates eat on that island, but those fresh calamari rings from Greg and Do looked really fucking haute cuisine. Better prepared than at the normal camp...

3. Laurie versus Steven having a good time part I: ‘So, Mr. gets octopus and can walk again. It's just like Jesus.’
YO MAMA.

4. Laurie versus Steven having a good time part II:
Steven: ‘Why do you look so angry? Oh no. That's just your face.’

YO MAMA.

5. Time for the test: balancing on a mini beam on a rock about ten meters above sea level. SIZE 46?! Does that even exist? What a bunch of rascals. Suddenly I feel sorry for Jan's shoes. He is standing there for a long time, respect.

7. Jan: ‘I think: Dennis, shut up. You're distracting me.’
Okay okay, the farmer has gone wild. Run Dennis. He might kick you. Size 46, just saying...

8. The ladies have a steady tactic. Hands on hips. Steven has more of a plane tactic. ‘And yes, then my plane made a sort of emergency landing,’ HAHA. Laurie wins a test, call the newspaper!

9. Gregory: ‘Is that Laura?’
All of the Netherlands: Laura? Okay, awkward.

10. Poor Loiza, no gut feelings anymore. No hope. It's over. Or is the Stevenmeister going to pull some crazy stunts this time? Please just suddenly go for Gregory or Jan. That would be so BRILLIANT.

11. How can Loiza still be so white on her belly after thirty days on an island? Did I miss that swimsuit or what?

12. So Laurie thinks she can handle Gregory ‘easier’ than Do. No exactly. I would think so too, you know. Choosing between who? A 20-year-old student or a male top athlete? Oh, easy right? The man.

13. I don't know, but if anyone were to run after me like Gregory is ‘PRACTICING’ his hurdle run, so pat pat, with those knees shooting up quickly, I would be knocked out immediately. Fifty shades of brown in my pants.

14. When the budget is also hard to find at the end of 2018 and you end up with a stroopwafel and a glass of milk while you actually just want the son of farmer Jan in your straw bed. Production, sort it out.

16. This is the first episode where I see the real person behind ‘da bitch’ Laurie. How she broke down during the tube catching when she heard her mother, how she talked back, nodded at the box and blew a kiss. So intensely sincere and sweet.

17. You could see Steven thinking during the Island Council, huh. Like: ‘Damn that fucking farmer has NO votes left! Sneaky bastard!!!’

Oh guys, next week the battle for the final begins. It looks like Do has to compete against Gregory and that one more person has to drop out among Laurie, Steven, and Jan. Excitingdddd.

P.S.: Loiza, I found you a fighter. Sincerely, super cool and with a very sympathetic character. No one can ever take this away from you. Oh and, check my Instagram @kikiduren for Loiza's very first reaction to her Robinson exit. I crawled into her car this morning.

P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you also can't get over it if farmer Jan wins. Really, I keep getting stuck on it.