Amayzine

KIKI’S TEMPTATION ISLAND BRABBELS

The final

Good. Let’s see. I have no idea where to start. ‘DebbrahLééhmas’ who was sitting on Lange Frans‘ lap to avoid Tim? Jeremy who still had to wash his ’hands’? The awkwardness between Daniëlle and Mezdi? Or Kevin and Megan who looked like two stoned shrimp sitting on that couch? Damn, guys. There’s a time to come and a time to go. After more than three months rioting on Friday morning it’s over after this week. The babble column is dying. But not before we make a big splash, you understand. Buckle up, here we go.

1. Let’s see. Seven months later and I have to figure out who’s who in that studio. Megan a bit darker hair okay okay, Deborah has the Jimmy Neutron hairstyle, nice. Cherish holy mowzers head full of fillers. And where is Zwanetta actually?

2. Holy shit, I was wondering who that chick with the bangs was… HAHAAAAA, is that Zwanetta? Najaaaaa. I don’t know, but I would still do a little test ‘Am-I-not-just-a-chameleon’ with the doctor.

3. Fortunately, Hehan and Hevin are just a bunch of idiots. Meanwhile, Rick Brandstoker is in deep trouble again, because he obviously doesn’t understand a thing of what they’re all saying.

4. Wait. Kevin and Megan were still together after Temptation Island and he cheated AGAIN? With a hippie? And she’s giggling on that couch as if she’s on laughing gas? Oh man, what a fucked up mess this is. Their relationship is so twisted, and yet I genuinely laugh my ass off at those two. There’s no better example of love-hate.

5. Just so everyone understands The Circle of Life a bit…

  1. Megan cheated with Joshua.
  2.  Kevin then cheated as revenge with Chloë.
  3. Joshua and Chloë started a relationship after Temptation.
  4.  Megan and Kevin got back together after the show.
  5.  Kevin is now back with Chloë.
  6.  Megan is now having sex with Joshua’s best friend…
  7.  But Chloë is looking at Joshua all lovey-dovey during the entire damn broadcast?!
  8.  And says on national TV that Joshua’s dick is bigger than Kevin’s?!?!
  9.  DO YOU GET IT? No? Then go back to step 1.

6. I would love it if the primal man in Jeremy suddenly revolts. Just for the unexpected moment.
Vanessa: ‘Jer, wash your hands first, okay?’
Jeremy: ‘Oh yeah, we need to wash our hands first.’
Vanessa: ‘No Jer, you don’t cut lettuce like that? Look, like this.’
Jeremy: ‘Shut up, nail. Sit down, shut your mouth and eat.’

7. I seriously took almost three hours on RTL XL (yeah, I got home late last night) for this 82-minute episode, man. Do you know how much needs to be written down here?!

8. I can’t handle this, okay. WHAT did Mezdi say that’s so bad that Daniëlle doesn’t want to be in the same room with him anymore? Smart move by the creators to give this season finale some extra juice maybe? Or couldn’t Mistah Psychopath really leave you alone in those seven months?

9. Daniëlle deserves an award for the sentence with which she describes Mezdi’s psychotic character: ‘If there’s a black chair and you say it’s white, then it’s white for you and no one else can convince you otherwise. Then I’ll even start to doubt if I’m colorblind, while they aren’t even colors?!‘ Can I get an AMEN?

10. Mezdi, my lovely weirdo, all very nice and sweet, but we’re now asking you to leave the premises, HAHAHA. Oh, before you go, please pass me the contact details of your eyebrow lady. #WhatABugBites

11. I’ve now reached the point where I notice that Lange Frans suddenly has hair.

12. Tim and Deborah. Here we go. Just for that reason, I’ve been watching for over an hour and a quarter at night, man, hurry UP. Voice-over: ’Tim found a new love… who wanted to remain unknown for understandable reasons.‘ I already find it brilliant.

13. Three things that made me laugh during the Tim moment.

1. Tim wants to marry Pixel after Deborah and Cherish.
2. Tim is sponsored by Lucardi. It can’t be otherwise.

3. Pixel breaks up with Tim and we find out in the studio just after we knew it was ‘on’ and Deborah is almost on the floor laughing.

14. I’m seriously cracking up at Deborah’s dryness. ‘Good day.’

Tim: ‘Let me, seven months later, apologize again.’

Deborah: ‘Okay.’

HAHAHA.

That girl is on fire.

15. Let it be clear on Twitter: no one is really team Tim tonight. ‘I wish DebraLeehmans a huge Lange Frans…’ Hahaha.

16. WOW! Kaj Gorgels presents the new Temptation Island with… Kim Kardashian?! Oh wait…

17. The big question now is of course who participated in Temptation Island vips?! Let’s think. André Hazes and Monique? Famke Louise and Snapking? With Waylon and Bibi Breijmans as Vanessa and Jeremy? What should we do NOW with our lives? A little Videoland then?

P.S.: What we are giving away this week on my Instagram @kikiduren? (following, it’s fun) 3x the legendary ‘Seed of a Mate can do no Harm’ duvet cover worth 59.95 euros, the Playmobil wig of Confetti Zwanetti for a day of undercover shit AND of course that Videoland subscription. I’ll come over to watch with you. I’m already looking forward to it.

P.P.S.: Dear creators, thanks for 16 episodes of brainless entertainment. We enjoyed it again. #SorryMama

P.P.P.S.: Give the person who found and cast Tim and Mezdi Now. Per. Direct. Immediately.

P.P.P.S.: Just a test. Also curious about those damn vip couples? We’re going to watch, right?! Heart at the bottom of this article.

Bye disaster tourists, it was quite the party. Are we just going to continue with Temptation Vip Babble on June 7? Hmm. I’ll think about it. Stay tuned…