Kiki’s Temptation Island VIP Brabbels
Hoooooly coconut oil, I don't know WHAT Yolanthe has done to her hair, but it looks like she has been inspired by, uh, Fabiola. And fuck, I also want to sit drunk with Donny in a swimming pool...
Hey disaster tourists. I don't know how you all feel, but I'm really getting into it for the first time in episode 5. The couples are confronted last week with the campfire images and that caused quite a stir in the tent. Especially among the women where Rosanna started throwing chairs and shit. In episode 5, the game of seduction is further intensified. Who has the biggest dick is? Ruud. And okay, Niels also struggles to resist the porn poodle. Are we ready to babble again? Let’s gooo. 1. Riddle. What do you get when you mix coconut oil, Moroccanoil, baking fat, and a waffle iron? Sssst, YOLAN!! Don't spoil it if you already know! Jesus, give the others a chance!.
2. Honestly, I feel a bit sorry for Rowena. Ruud, how many times do I have to say it, boy? People take the space you give them. Right now, there are seven crows in your room waiting to perch. YOUR PERCH.
3. Rosanna: ‘I’m glad I f***ed Alex last year. I’m going to make a porn movie with him. I’ll just drop it in Niels’ mailbox at home.’ Wokeeeee. If you still doubt that Niels and Rosanna are hired just to cause trouble this season: here’s the proof.
4. Some people have a thumb head. Do you know what I mean? Look at your thumb. Then think of Gelina. DO YOU SEE IT? HAHAHA.
5. Ruud, did you really say this? About your schedule? And giving it a ‘swing’ in the evening? Stay focused, you know. ‘Think with your head and not with your…’ BRRR.
6. On Twitter, there is a lot of speculation about what Niels’ hair resembles the most. I nominate: ‘On that grass you see in the dunes #temptationislandvips.’.
7. Oh yesss, time for the dates. Here it comes.‘
– Gelina is going with Karim. He is a ‘freelance’ dancer and always looks like he’s on ecstasy. Okay. That’s leeeeeeeeuk, dating in a Mexican cave, woehoe! He pulls out the most insulting compliment ever: ‘You actually look a lot like my ex.’ Ooh, stupid Karim. Very dumb.
The women
– Rosanna is going with Jay. You see them cutting an onion for two seconds and then assume they cooked themselves on their date. He starts talking and you’re already in stitches. WHAT?.
– Rowena chooses football coach Jarredson. They are going to play in the sea. With one paddleboard. Can the production please arrange more budget for the dates? That shit is getting awkward.
-Amijé chooses Steven. And I see Steven for the first time in my life and he is a dental technician. Hey S, maybe take a look at Niels' face right away. That’s not going well either.
8. Okay, it’s taking a while, let’s speed through the guys.
– Stefano is doing tequila shots with Dorien's boobs.
– Niels is doing penis dancing with his porn poodle.
– Ruud and Kelly are playing with fire.
– And Don refuses to massage Danique and so the two end up completely drunk in the pool.
9. HAHAHA. By the way, I really cracked up about that date of Donny and Danique. Mr. is getting a droopy eye by the second. The interviews afterwards are pure schadenfreude. ‘What was the question again? I’m really toooooo drunk, guys.’.
10. Loose-lipped Don immediately spills another juicy drunk man's chat. ‘If I want to cheat, I’ll do it without anyone finding out.’
11. And he adds a little more in the evening: ‘She is just too cute.’ Meanwhile, Danique looks like a Furbie that’s stuck and can only giggle. Honestly… suddenly we feel like an unfaithful Donny.’
12. The Temptation trophies are back. The comments that win this week?.
The most ordinary: ‘I gave him FUCKING free teeth. I’m pulling those facings out of his mouth. Seriously!!’ – ROSANNA.
The dumbest: ‘I could have a relationship with Niels. Because we have something with each other, I just don’t know what yet.’ Hihihihihihinnik horse laugh. –.
The this-says-enough: ‘My intention is of course to stay faithful. But you just have to stay realistic. You can’t rule it out. Especially not here.’ – RUUD.
The strangest: ‘It’s not that I’m going to drink a lot or anything. I might just have an extra drink.’ – ROSANNA.
The most Amsterdam: ‘I just miss my own boy. He’s the only one I need.’ – ROWENA.
14. Okay, I tried to hold back, but who else is annoyed by the COCONUTS on that fluff ball chain with a microphone?.
15. Oh god, and there’s belly dancer Zwanetta back in the game. Mark my words: it’s going to be tough for Ruud. Well, that’s it again, guys. I’m also going to pretend I have a life. Want to laugh more about Niels' hair? And a special Temptation Island riddle? Check my Instagram Stories at
P.S.: ‘HEY NIELS, I’M GOING TO DO DIRTY THINGS WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND AGAIN, FRIEND!’ Uh-oh. T-Rex is being unleashed next week and things are about to get dirty. ALEX, ALEX, ALEX! @kikiduren. Until next weeeheeek!
P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you think that loser Don should be on a vodka drip every night from now on to wake up laughing in the morning. Donny does not get drunk. Donny gets awesome.
P.P.P.S. Double heart at the bottom if you also think Jay is the shit. ’She needs support. And a penis.’ HAHAHA.
Image from RTL.
Hoooooly coconut oil, I don't know WHAT Yolanthe has done to her hair, but it looks like she has been inspired by, uh, Fabiola.
