Ode to Olga

As far back as I can remember, I see her regularly. Olga and I go way back. She bullied me. For years. She always came unannounced, embarrassed me, and practically photobombed every photo.

Olga is my double chin.

Yes, Olga is also immediately the most sexless name you can think of for a double chin, I know. How I came up with it, only Joost knows (something with a jolly mood here at the editorial office, I guess), but by now my colleagues also talk about ‘their’ Olga. Some have a baby Olga. An Olgalientje. Yes, the colleague with an Olgalientje knows exactly which photo I'm talking about. Colleague Lotte even has a brilliant explanation for the name. Olga = Excess Body Weight Present. (yes @friends of Lotte, thanks, this is what people come up with when they're drunk in France without power).

Anyway, Olga then. That fucker makes you look thicker than you actually think. The annoying thing is that it doesn't always have to do with fat. You can even have size 34 combined with an Olga. As you get older, you get more trouble with ‘the flap’. After your forties, the elasticity of the skin loosens and it hangs faster. Then you get an Olga 2.0. Or 3.0. Is it shitty? Yes, a little bit. Can you change anything about it? Well, you can supposedly freeze the thing, but the thought of it gives me the shivers. Those countless ‘what can you do against your double chin exercises?’ Trust me: doesn't work.

Instead of always hating that double chin, we now tolerate her. In a good mood, I let her dance to a song. I mean: people, come on, does it really all have to be so serious? Olga enjoys life. Sometimes I hear Lil say: ‘No, that wasn't against you, I was talking to Olga. Why should you be ashamed of her? Isn't Olga the perfect alter ego to mess with? Isn't she always in the photos that make us laugh the hardest? Exactly. Be yourself, man. With or without Olga. Chinning is winning.

P.S.: Do you know the Instagram account of Michelle Liu yet? She lives in Boston and also has an Olga. And yes, she is proud of it. She even gained thousands of followers because of it. Respect.