Oh god, I have a tiny bit of regret about my vacation

Actually, I shouldn't say this. Everyone will think: come on, what are you complaining about now. But suddenly I have a kind of nagging gut feeling about a vacation I booked. Or rather, not about the vacation itself (hi Bali, I can't wait to meet you), but especially about the timing: almost all of December.

For someone who absolutely hates social obligations, it seemed heavenly to me, a winter getaway. One last time to wear those fluttery summer dresses, no stress about needing a new winter coat yet, no packed schedule, mandatory New Year's parties, no hassle with Christmas, no help-how-are-we-going-to-not-disappoint-anyone (he has divorced parents and so do I); just nothing at all. And with that, exactly everything I have myself. Actually, there should be a ‘serves you right’ at the end.

Fourteen days left and then my suitcase needs to be packed. In fact, I will be at the airport then. And as much as I love telling everyone: ‘No, we're leaving in December, bye!’ I suddenly think: but. But. But... December is family.

December is warmth. Maybe not outside, but definitely in the heart. The illuminated department stores, the hilarious Sinterklaas poems at the office, the warm cocoa, the first Christmas songs on Sky Radio... The rush, the cozy feeling. The annual Christmas party we have at Amayzine: suddenly I'm not part of it all. And there, dear people, I get really bad fomo that.

Of course, OF COURSE I'm the last one to complain about a vacation, but suddenly there's something in me that thinks: is December really the best month for that autumn trip? Shouldn't I have skipped that boring January or February? Aren't those precisely perfect months for a winter getaway? Am I already bumping my face against an age-old cliché?

You don't know what you're missing until it's gone...

So if you're wondering why there's already a fully decorated Christmas tree in my living room while we still have to celebrate Sinterklaas: I have withdrawal symptoms. Does anyone want to celebrate Sinterklaas at my place this week, with oliebollen, Christmas turkeys, and counting down right away?

LOOK. DJEEEZ. GRAB YOURSELF TOGETHER.