Love & Sex

Scientists are investigating whether sex on the first date is a good plan

(or not)

Some don't make too much of it and others stick to well-considered principles anyway.

But is it advisable, sex during a first date? You just met for one evening, you've had a few glasses of wine, and well, he has a nice chat and a quick wit, so why not. After all, this way you immediately know what kind of person you're dealing with. But yes, there's that doubt. Are you not wasting all your chances now? Doesn't he think right away: ‘Oh, this is definitely not relationship material?’ What is wisdom: to go for a fling or not?

Science has pondered this pressing issue and what turns out? It doesn't matter at all. The chance of a long relationship after the first date is just fifty-fifty, whether there’s a happy ending or not. So whether you go for some naughty action right away or not, the chance that you'll see him again after that date is just as big as if you wisely head home after the last drink or if you do choose to have sex.

Men think the same about a woman, whether she jumps into bed with him or not. That makes sense because, yes, if you really like each other, all those rules and prejudices don't matter at all. If the chemistry is there, it's there, and it absolutely doesn't matter to him whether you go home with him for some bed fun after date 12 or if you already want him on day 1.

And the reverse is also true: if the chemistry isn't there, it doesn't matter whether you splash around between the sheets or not. Unfortunately. It might be a lot more painful for you if you don't hear from him after a hookup, but then comfort yourself with the thought that it wouldn't have made a difference if you had played hard to get. It's not that you can't perform in bed, no way. It's just not him.

Love can be that simple sometimes. Usually not. But as far as first dates are concerned, you can just do what you feel like. It saves some worrying. And what you do on date number 2, you'll see then.

FACTS

  • 35 percent of women find just kissing on the first date not done.
  • A third of singles (m/f) find sex on the first date okay. But only 2 percent of women actually do it.
  • In New York, they are quite lenient: in this city, sex on a first date is the most accepted. SATC, literally.