Entertainment

Kiki's Timptation Island ramblings

Episode 9

Oh. My. God. Tim. This is a joke, right? TIM? And I thought the drama from last season couldn't get any worse. A very good morning. Want to rant? To shamelessly talk about cringeworthy television? Great, I do. And specifically about the atomic bomb that was activated yesterday.

Some partners seem to walk into the trap of temptation with their eyes wide open. And the seducers are lurking with their big breasts ready to strike mercilessly. Goodness gracious, what a strange, bizarre episode this was. Suddenly Tim has a new relationship, Mezdi is pretending to be the holy virgin Mary, Kevin is happy again, and Jeremy is walking around with stickers on his forehead. No time to lose, friends, this shit needs to be discussed. On to the ramblings.

1. Wow, is Tim really messing up in this episode? I did not see that coming. WHERE IS THE TIME WHEN HALF OF THE NETHERLANDS DIDN'T PREVIEW AN EPISODE THAT MESSES UP MY RAMBLINGS? BUNCH OF IDIOTS.

2. Most painful moment during a date ever:

Megan: ‘I still want to travel. To Costa Rica, to Africa...’

Joshua: ‘Who knows, you might meet the guy of your life.’

*Hears crickets, smells awkwardness...

3. Meanwhile, Jeremy chooses Billy as a seducer. What? Who?

4. What must the tourism board in Thailand feel like when the production promised to showcase the country famously through a spontaneous group of Dutch and Belgians. 'We went to Big Buddha. Hennik da beest ook’n keerzinèh.' HAHAHA. Temptation Island 5. ‘Jeremy is not really a nice person either. He has quite a few bad sides. But am I really going to bring that up here?’ - Vanessa (23), the only woman who manages to ruin her relationship in Temptation Island by staying faithful.

6. Mezdi: ‘This is just childish bullshit.’ No, fiddling with punanis in the sea is nice, dude.

7. Okay, this is really fucking scary, but I've heard that if you look in the mirror exactly at 00:00 and say ‘Tim is cheating’ three times, Mezdi will appear in your room.

8. Look, that action from Bol.com.

and that 30-day reflection period for that engagement ring (House, Garden, Return) was nice, but do I really have to see Facebook ads for waterproof mascara with the line above: 'You'll need it, Deborah.' Come on, people. That's just rude., 9. Am I the only one who would be really Very Scared if a guy I had known for a week crawled up to me and suddenly said: 'Because I have a big dick'? Does Cherish already have a swimsuit from Tim on?!.

pic.twitter.com/IHvRm7FkaQ

12. Daniëlle, no. Daniëlle. No. You're not going to do this. That ugly Big Bad Wolf. Daniëlle? Don't let Fabrizio deflower you. This is, uh, not smart. Earth to Daniëlle? Joe?.

13. 'This is a decision that has clearly been thought through,' says Fabrizio. Yes, buddy. Goodness, a whole week. Oh fuck it, I don't care anymore. Applause for Fabrizio. His stamp has been set. Bring on the drama!.

14. Next week on Temptation Naailand? Knabbel and Babbel actually have sex, foaming Mezdi dives into the Thai rainforest in search of new branches, and Jeremy finally knows the name of Silly, uh, Billy after sixteen dates.

@kikiduren?

3x the Rumag T-shirt 'BLOND. NARROW ASS. BIG MOUTH. TALKS SHIT', a custom made ticket to hell in Fabrizio's tattoo shop, and an evening of playing Friends With Benefits with Joshua. You know you want it.

P.S.: What we are giving away this week on my Instagram P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if the disaster tourist in you can't wait for next week's nuclear disaster during the campfire. Wow, wow... Shit is going to be painful. Oh. My. God. Tim. This is a joke, right? TIM? And I thought the drama from last season couldn't get any worse. A very good morning. Want to rant?.

Kiki's Timptation Island ramblings: Episode 9: Amayzine.com.