The scientific reason why one man falls in love with you and the other does not
Pink clouds are wonderful – except when you're sitting on them all alone.
If you're between eighteen and thirty years old, you've been head-over-heels in love an average of 2.7 times. But as romantic as it sounds, this is of no use to you if the love is not mutual. That chemical reaction you get with some people, where does it come from? And... We send people to the moon, but why can't you simply in love make someone fall for you?
Falling in love is – sorry to all romantics – nothing more than a purely physical reaction. It has everything to do with hormones and substances in your brain. The most well-known substance is phenylethylamine, which makes you feel good and gives you energy for ten. It's somewhat comparable to what you feel when you're on a roller coaster: healthy tension, nerves mixed with enthusiasm, a kind of ‘kick’ feeling. Additionally, dopamine is released in your brain. This causes lust and makes love addictive. And well, to answer that one pressing question right away: that's why you can't force someone to fall in love. You simply can't inject those substances into someone.
So why doesn't that one handsome guy see any hearts for you, while you're head over heels? Why doesn't he notice the chemistry that exists for you?
There are several explanations for this.
- You first fall in love with people with whom you share common interests. You subconsciously look for someone with a similar social background, intelligence, education, norms and values, and attractiveness. Opposites do not attract each other at all. This could perhaps be the reason.
- And what if you do have a lot in common? Men are often more open to love when they are in a vulnerable and new phase of their lives. If they are too busy with work, study, or their circle of friends, they have no interest at all. That he fits you in every way, but still doesn't want serious business: it purely depends on the moment in his life. Once he gets a bit older, you'll see: then he’ll be begging for a little house, a tree, and a pet with you. Timing is everything. Then there are more things, of course, such as physical and emotional excitement, that need to be present. And he also looks for someone he sees as a potential good mother when he wants to settle down. Someone who can take good care of his offspring. Yes, often someone who resembles his own mother in a certain way. Who knows, spending some extra time with your mother-in-law might not be a bad plan if you want him for life.
- Before you get married, you've been head over heels about 7 times.
FACTS
- Every day, around 3 million people go on a first date worldwide
- Partners lie to each other an average of 1 to 2 times a day
- Pink clouds are wonderful – except when you're sitting on them all alone. If you're between eighteen and thirty years old, you've been head-over-heels in love an average of 2.7 times...
