Why it is actually good if you are (sometimes) nicely selfish

We want as humans that everyone likes us. And that is difficult.

Because due to our constant urge for recognition and love, we say ‘yes’ more often than we should. And that will ultimately get you in trouble, do you in, destroy you. Because forgetting yourself is not only a bit sad for yourself, it is also bad for your health. You will eventually become depressed and also a burnout lurks if you don't say ‘no’ more often. You can't do everything, you can't keep everyone happy. We say it so often – but no one listens. And if you want to be happy, you will have to choose for yourself more often than you do now. Not always think of the other or what the other thinks of you. Not think about what the opinions of ‘all those others’ will be. What does it matter to you, in the end? Do what you want, it is your life.

Not everyone can get this positive mindset. Some tremble at the idea that they themselves are number 1. It even has a name in psychology: the Wendy syndrome. This comes from the Peter Pan syndrome, in which men never really grow up and always want to be pampered. The Wendy syndrome means that you are always busy with others and neglect yourself. You often give your partner all your energy and attention, leaving little room for you, yourself and you. People with this syndrome often worry terribly that they will lose the person they care for and are constantly afraid that others no longer need them. There are many women who make this mistake and ‘love someone too much’. That can happen.

Look, we are talking about finding the right balance in life. You certainly don't have to become a bitch who never does anything for another and doesn't want to make a cup of tea for her man. But realize where that balance lies. Are you going to a birthday party of a niece you never speak to for yourself, because it makes you happy or to please your aunt? Do you make breakfast for your partner every day because you leuk vindt or because you don't want to disappoint him? Think about it. About everything you do every day. For whom do you do it? Be proud of yourself and never dismiss your own hobbies and dreams.

Only when you are happy yourself can you make others happy. Take that rest, get that massage and just say ’no’ and ’no’. I am already proud of you.

FACTS

• Women spend an average of 2.3 hours per week on household chores. Men spend an average of 0.3 hours.
• Only 3.5 percent of men cook every day.
• Mothers with 3 children spend an average of 28 hours per week keeping the house clean, cooking meals, and doing laundry. Young, single women without kids spend only 12 hours per week on that.

Source: Healthier Living