Bizarre: you can now rent this private island via Airbnb

“But Kiek, Airbnb, you sleep at people's homes and stuff? Don't you think that's, um, dirty?” I still hear a good friend say that. Well, I'm going to forward this message to that same friend right away, because I think she'll sing a different tune when she's chilling on her butt on a private island.

We've been noticing it for a while now: Airbnb is in full bloom. What started with three air mattresses inflated in the living room of Airbnb founders Brian and Joe in San Francisco (I think that's a really nice story) grew into a multimillion-dollar company. From air mattresses, they expanded to guest rooms and then to entire homes, Airbnb Plus, and even boutique hotels. And now there's Airbnb Luxe. According to the founders, there was demand for it, so they came up with an answer. This week, two thousand new stays have been added. Award-winning houses in New Zealand, villas in South Africa, castles in France, the full shebang.

But actually, there's only one type of stay I can look at. The entire island with its own self-declared time zone in French Polynesia, Nukutepipi. 52 guests. 21 bedrooms. 25 baths. Sorry, just a moment. I'm getting an error. This is paradise on earth. This is Justin Bieber's bachelor party. This is the place where the promo videos were filmed for the Fyre festival. Your own island. Your own private party. Your own chef. Your own captain. Massage therapist. Activity coordinators so you and your guests won't be bored for a second. Your own doctor in case something goes wrong. This is not normal. And it has nothing to do with an Airbnb anymore and is not affordable for us mortals at all, but hey. A person can dream, right?

P.S. Biebs listen, I can cook well now. And clean. And massage. And take photos of you and your friends. And organize activities. Probably also drive a boat. Even a bit of pole dancing, if necessary. You'll call me, right, when we go???

P.P.S: I just checked for fun what this little joke costs in July. 128,572 euros for one night. Oh come on, just over a hundred grand. Purima to do. The island is almost COMPLETELY SOLD OUT ALL OF JULY JUSTIN HOW?!