I drank celery juice for a week and this is what happened
My mornings were tough. And I mean tough in taste, because before I could even grab a coffee, I had to chug down half a liter of celery juice. I could write ‘drink’ here, but it wasn't even close. I would have preferred to pinch my nose and gulp it all down in one go. What I'm saying: tough. I did this to myself, by the way, it wasn't under duress.
Suddenly I saw them, all the fashion people (and Kiki) walking around with a cup of bright green juice. We've been doing that for a while, but there was a subtitle added here, because it was cel-e-ry juice (with a meaningful look). After a little Googling it turned out celery was so much more than just a pale stalk. It drove away, it protected against, and it encouraged. Well, you know what that means. You're going to try this. I am.
To keep the costs somewhat manageable, I started blending myself. So I saw myself loading three bunches of celery, a cucumber, and some apples into the cart at the supermarket on Sunday. Because this was going into the juice recipe. I had to buy in bulk because I had convinced my boyfriend to join in.
On Monday, I tossed the apple and cucumber in with the celery and let it blend nicely for a bit. My boyfriend looked at his glass as if it would spit in his face, and I, of course, pretended this was the best thing that could happen to me. Let me be clear: it wasn't. But I felt green, I felt healthy, I felt like a walking celery all morning, because the smell sticks to you in an onion-like way. Still, my fingers seemed a bit thinner, and I kept needing to pee. Was it the flushing out or was it that half a liter that had to go somewhere?
On Tuesday, I was on my own because my love gave up on the celery (I couldn't even blame him). Lotte said the apple wasn't doing good things for the taste, so I went for a hint of cucumber in my juice. I still had to chew a bit, but it was doable, especially without the apple. During my workout, I had a burp moment because half a liter of celery juice on an empty stomach and jumping jacks is a burping combination.
On Wednesday, I reduced the half liter to 30 centiliters because a person has to keep things somewhat normal.
On Thursday, I sliced my celery in one smooth chop, turned the knob of my Philips blender, which served me a nicely blended glass. Celery and I, for life.
On Friday, I accidentally stepped on the scale. It turned out I weighed two kilos more than the week before. TWO. That's four times half a liter of celery juice, water-retaining oh-my-gosh. I'm done, I'm quitting, what am I doing to myself? After this glass then.
On Saturday, I let it slide because we had breakfast out. Still with a green juice, by the way, to keep fooling myself a bit.
On Sunday, I had to get used to the combination of celery juice and a serious hangover. Those two are not such a winning team on your ‘empty’ stomach. With tiny sips, I drank it down. Meanwhile wondering if I would keep doing this. After the juice, I took a Rennie.
And then my week with celery was over, the big weighing can begin.
The downsides:
You blend yourself around every morning, you have to love that. And if you're not really into celery, then such a juice can become quite a thing.
The upsides:
I feel fit, not fluish, not cold. Now I have no idea if this can be attributed to the celery, but they say it does things for your immunity. Other than Friday morning on the scale, I feel less bloated, my belt is even a whole notch tighter. It has zero calories, but such a glass of juice fills you up so well that you can skip half of your breakfast.
Well, maybe I'll try it for another week. If it doesn't help, at least I've invested in celery production. Unless I gain two kilos again in a week, then celery goes out the window. You understand.
