If you have never been skiing in your life

A friend of mine is going three times this month. First with the guys, because: maaaagical, then with the lovely family, because: super cozy, and once more, but with whom I don't know anymore. And so three-quarters of my friend group travels off to la douce France, Austria, or Switzerland to indulge in some snow and take a round on the skis. Meanwhile, I refresh Skyscanner to see if there's still a trip under the sun. I have never been on a winter sports trip. There, I said it. Nothing to be ashamed of, right? While I quickly get labeled as a winter sports type because I sail. And if you sail, then you do winter sports, people think. It probably has to do with the fact that both are wet affairs. Behold here the exception of the sailing non-skier. I have been to Switzerland twice, saw no snow.

Now the skiers and snowboarders immediately start shouting that you have to go if you say you've never been. But I have quite plausible arguments that allow you to just book a return trip to the sun. Yes, I know it can be very sunny on the slopes, but little bikini comes into play there, I happen to know.

Why it's not a big deal to not be a winter sports person?

1. Winter sports are expensive. One week of winter sports and two weeks of sun. Do the math.
2. You don't have to bluff yourself down a higher slope than you want. 
3. A whole week of schnitzels, guys, no one has ever been happy about that. 
4. Walking in ski boots seems so intensely uncomfortable to me. 
5. If you know how nice thermal underwearis, then you get tempted and you must always resist that temptation. So it's better not to know.  
6. No weird sunglass-like discolorations on your face for you, but a nice tan from turning on the towel. 
7. I refresh my weather app a hundred times in the summer to gauge the wind, so I don't want to do that in winter. 
8. The moment you no longer have muscle pain, you should go home, see point 1. 

P.S.: But someday I will join, dear friends, because I truly believe I am made for those après-ski practices.

P.P.S.: Also read why we should according to Kiki.