KIKI’S TEMPTATION ISLAND BRABBELS

Hey troublemakers, I have good and bad news. The good: something noteworthy finally happened in the very last minute of this episode. The bad? The end of our Thai vacation is near. For almost three months, we've been chatting here every Friday morning about all the ins & outs of Temptation Naailand and suddenly I realize: shit is almost over.

Final score? Two out of four relationships will survive this, I think. Roger and Laura have already indicated that they will not continue together (this is really the anticlimax of this season), but I also think Mor and Rodan are going to have a tough time. During the dream dates, the singles get one last chance to make their move. Which relationships will hold up and who will still fall short with the finish line in sight? We will see. For the second-to-last time, it's time to babble. Buckle up, here we go.

1. ‘There’s just a big pestilential cloud hanging over me. My eyes are fucking swollen. I feel like a fish, man. You know that feeling when you make coffee and sometimes spill it? That you just dump the whole pot in? That cup was me.’ My god, I just now realize how much I’m going to miss Sidney’s brain farts…

2. HAHAHA, the montage of Sidney saying he would ‘neeeeever’ say anything bad about his Demi = life. Put that in your pocket, Deem, with a boyfriend like that, you don’t need exes to hate.

– ‘How much clothing do you think Demi has bought? My entire bank account was plundered like a motherfucker.’
– ‘She doesn’t work super much…’

– ‘She’s really a mama’s girl and a daddy’s girl.’
– ‘She’s fucking insecure, right? Always wearing fucking thick layers of makeup.’

3. My favorite moment this episode is the shot of the boys when Rick comes in with his ‘You’re going on an absolute-ultra-super-luxury dream date’ story. ‘A bit of the apotheosis of Temptation Island.’ LOOK AT THEM WATCHING. AS IF THEY COULD DIE AT ANY MOMENT. YOU CAN HEAR THE CRICKETS. And then Rick with his little grin: ‘Enjoy it.’ Oooh, I love this television.

4. Naaah, wait a minute, did Laura really push her way through and is she actually going on a date with Gaetan? I find that really, really strange.

5. Woooooooow, Gaetan is rejecting her. Shit is getting awkwarder each moment. But thank god, justice has prevailed. With good spirits, MamaLau tries to hook another single: ‘HI MAXIME!’

6. And ooh, Maxime is really getting stomped on his bifi sausage by Laura: ‘I’m never second choice. I’m really not okay with it actually. But my mama raised me better.’ Moses, how Maxime was scouted as a seducer is still a mystery to me.

7. By the way, I suddenly picture Laura having a BDSM cellar at home where Roger crawls around the room in a diaper + ball in his mouth. BRRR.

8. Is Sid really saying he doesn’t know what an infinity pool is? Wokeeee.

9. That hair. That nose, and then that look: ‘The combination of Gaetan and birds doesn’t go very well together.’ I love Demi’s dryness. But my god, what a missed opportunity. If I worked in production, I would have definitely sent those two to an ostrich farm. .

10. ‘I would have preferred to be here with Milou, blah blah. OUR MILOU, OUR MILOU. I thought: shut up, dude. I find it fucking annoying.’ Okay, Ayleen is kind of my spirit animal.

11. ‘It may sound very selfish, but women would want to get to know me.’ – Sidney.
Drop the mic.

12. ‘And while Roger retreats for the next 12 hours. I’m not even close to being tired of seducer Armanda.’ HAHAHA. In love with the voice-over part 728.

13. And yes: in the category tweets of the week, I don’t want to withhold from you:

– ‘I know defective outlets that have more tension than this season.’

– ‘What a path of suffering this is.’

– ‘Next week: Sidney is admitted to the psychiatric hospital.’

– ‘Another week?! Thought today would be the last episode… *sigh*’
– ‘Rodanya is just a wolf in sheep's clothing #TemptationIslandNL’
– ‘Timtation has set the bar too high, a sentence I never thought I would say.’
– ‘My husband calculated that Sidney has pricked 1.58 girls per month from his 14th to his 18th year.’
– ‘Ooh Laura, getting rejected by a seducer from #temptationisland must be really embarrassing.’

– ‘Oh Sidney. Your intonation. Your sentence structure. Your word choice. And that you can even rap it… You are indeed God’s gift to women.’

– ‘Similarity between #TemptationIsland and #ajatot? In both, a score was made in the last second and everyone is thrown off.’

– ‘Rodanya: *cheats on the dream date*.’

– Morgan: ‘That’s probably due to the wound on her foot.’

P.S.: What we are raffling this week on my Insta @kikiduren? Laura’s rejection (priceless), a little ostrich steak slap with Gaetan at Bistro Bar het Malle Pietje in Wormerveer AND Ayleen’s Lady Gaga sunglasses with a double function because: also to be placed in the living room as a plasma TV. Just saying.

P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you also hope that Rodanya gets asked six times at the campfire next week if she really has no regrets.

‘Morgan, we have an audio clip for you…’

WAAAAH.

TENSION.

SENSATION.

DISASTER TOURISM.

OKAY, BYE.