Everything you think when you are a lockdown runner

Exercising in quarantine, during corona times, is not very optimal. Quite suboptimal, even. Now I've dutifully bought a mat, resistance bands, and weights and I'm doing the online classes on Instagram, but it's not always really motivating. And I feel a bit like a dodo when I'm jumping and squatting for an hour in my small living room. And in the park, well, that can of course be done... But reading the exercises off my phone is also not great. And with a whole notebook full of exercises with me, I feel like the same dodo as when I'm showing off indoors.

And I believe many people are struggling with this, because around me, everyone is running and everyone seems to think it's totally awesome, but... I. Don't. Get. It. Running is really the dumbest thing there is, right? I've attempted it a few times in the past weeks, because hey, you want to stay a bit fit during this corona and not get bogged down by my quarantine drinking habits. But I can't do it. There's no way I can start enjoying this. However, I do have time to think a lot. But my thoughts while running are not the most inspiring, although they often start off positively.

• ‘Okay, I CAN DO THIS. Maybe I'll actually enjoy it. Maybe I'll join that Dam Tot Damloop someday.’
• ‘And what's an hour in a day? An hour in my whole life? I can totally run for an hour.’
• ‘Aah look, I can do this. How long has it been? About one song (I always time in songs)? Ah yes, look, three minutes. Okay, that's actually not that much.’
• ‘Yeah exactly, yeah, I just really don't find this fun at all.’
• ‘Why do people say that those parks are so beautiful and calming to run through? MOVE TO THE SIDE EVERYONE.’
• ‘Okay, I wanted to run at least ten kilometers in that hour, but let me just try to run for that hour. Participating is more important than winning.’
• ‘How annoying that my phone doesn't just stay relaxed. And tying my keys to my laces seemed brilliant but THIS. FEELS. SO. ANNOYING.’
• ‘What do people actually like about this? Why am I hanging out with people who enjoy this? I really need to rethink my choices.’
• ‘I take it back. It's just an hour of my life, but also the most terrible hour of my life.’
• ‘An hour is just really not doable. Life should also be fun. Half an hour is fine too, right? It's about the idea.’
• ‘I miss my couch.’
• ‘I miss my pre-running life.’

And it always ends the same way: after a disappointing half hour, I settle on the couch and spend the next half hour (that I should actually still be running) cursing. Cursing how stupid running is and full of disbelief that people genuinely enjoy this. So here it is, yes I said it: running is the dumbest activity there is.