If you are depressed just before you are about to give birth

I believe that in the last weeks and days before the delivery, I mostly lay in bed. I was counting down. The seconds. How much longer, how much longer, how much longer?

Because I was really done with being pregnant.

Many women are actually a bit less happy just before giving birth during their leave. Suddenly you have no work anymore and that seems nice at first, but yes, everyone else around you just keeps going. You feel isolated from society. Everyone is working. You are lying on the couch on Monday morning with the iPad. That can spark a bit of loneliness. According to researchers, ‘maternal depression’, or depression in new mothers, often begins just before the child is born.

Ten to twenty percent of mothers experience a mental dip around the birth of a child, reports the New York Times. It is also called ‘postpartum depression’. Women are anxious about childbirth, worry excessively that something is wrong with their unborn child, and can even have panic attacks. And that poor sleep in the last weeks doesn't help either.

A slightly milder variant, the baby blues, occurs much more often. Certainly eighty percent of mothers experience this. You find nothing more fun, in that pregnancy. I can relate to that. I don't believe I was depressed when I was pregnant with Bodi and Daaf, but I wasn't exactly super happy either. I know that baby blues, unfortunately. I found it tough, that double belly, the tension before giving birth, the nerves were racing through my body. And indeed: sometimes I felt quite alone. All my friends were not yet pregnant or mothers and they didn't quite understand what I was going through. My husband did his best, but his life was still pretty much the same while mine had been completely different for nine months. Sometimes that felt unfair. I also felt alone because I was the only one who had to do it, getting two boys out of my belly. And that belly... My goodness. It was GIGANTIC. I can laugh about it now, thank god I can fit into my old jeans again.

But I want to share my experience with you. The beautiful thing about the baby blues you have before you give birth: as soon as your child is there, it's over. Let that be a boost for all the mommy-to-be's who still have to puff. No matter how tough it all is: it's worth it. You only really know that when you hold your tiny, dearest, beautiful own baby in your arms. What an achievement of your female body: a miracle. I would certainly want more children if it is granted to us, no matter how tough I found those last weeks of my pregnancy. That is the magic of becoming a mother. What you get, you only know after the physical and mental misery. And that what you get is the purest, sweetest, prettiest, most beautiful thing in your whole life. It is your new life.

Hang in there a little longer, pregnant almost-moms.