KIKI’S EXPEDITION ROBINSON CHATTER: HOLLAND VS. BELGIUM

I refuse to, speak Flemish in the intro. I'm not doing it anymore. That you're just sitting there with your mouth open watching this episode and wondering what the actual fuck is happening there in the Philippines. A real camp switch, a medieval starvation strategy, the infamous food test: episode 5 did not disappoint us. And this is what went through my mind.

1. First of all: omg, my heart broke at Dennis’ reaction when he saw his name for the first time. I feel so sorry for this dude. The man with the wagging tail. The stair maker. Sympathetic guy. ‘I had such a nice day. Just messing around with the boys. The fire is burning.’ Aaaaah. SHIT GAME.

2. But I must say, the boy was trusting – with people he had only known for a day.

3. ‘I'm leaving half of my stuff here, I'll be back anyway.’ – said no one ever in experienced Expedition Robinson. Except DenDen.

4. I immediately wonder who picked up the other half of his stuff.

5. But seriously: I don't quite understand those Belgians either. Why vote out one of the stronger men just because he's Dutch? And keep Natassia to win tests? What kind of suicide strategy is this, man?

6. I really feel like an idiot, Jorik, but what is a football intermediary??? A fancy word for referee? I'm trying to Google it and can't even find it.

7. Total error at the moment when ‘Rock, paper, scissors’ is said.

8. Okay, but a rat trap from Herman. Just… They don't want to eat a rat, do they? Or what? Why are they making a rat trap? Vomit.

9. Just a moment about Jorik, huh. Honestly: this man has a gigantic teddy bear level. And that FOOD TEST, WHAT A HERO!! #NewFavoriteJoe #StillAlsoTeamNellieVille

10. I don't know if there are people here who used to watch Dragon Ball Z, but I think Niels has evolved into Super Sayan. Those arm muscles have exploded. What a beast. My goodness, it will come running up your stairs at night, in sheer terror.

11. Tweet of the week: ‘The real survivors are the cameramen who have to spend the whole day with Farah and Liesbeth.’ HAHAH.

12. Koen, that deep-sea diving next week: great plan. Do you want weight to carry around your neck?

P.S..: What? Koen is military? Wokeeee, just kidding. Koen, I LOVE YOU. (For all I know, a hand grenade could spontaneously fly through my mailbox tomorrow.)

P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you also hope that Dennis eats Farah next week on Revenge Island.