The scientific reason why you sometimes find your colleagues so annoying
‘Paid friends,’ my father calls the people he works with. You don’t choose your colleagues; they are given to you as a gift.
Sometimes you're lucky and you're in a nice team. Do you feel heard and seen. Are you really friends with your close colleagues, do you drink wine together outside of office hours and make jokes at the coffee machine? But even if you get along well with the people on your work floor, why is it that sometimes you find your oh-so-fun colleagues very annoying?
According to experts, here's how it works. You associate your colleagues, with whom you spend forty hours a week, with your family. You might think: no way. But a group of colleagues also feels like a family. In your adult life, you probably see them more often and for more hours per week than your sister, brother, father, or mother. According to psychologists, this often brings up old wounds: for example, you associate that bossy boss with your own mother, or you find that colleague across from you just like your aunt, with whom you used to have such a nice bond . The funny thing is: you can't control your own behavior and so you react in a certain way to certain people at work because they secretly, unconsciously remind you of that grandpa, cousin, sister, or niece. And usually, that brings up misery that you haven't resolved before.
The good news is that when you realize this a bit, you can position yourself better at work. Because you prefer to keep your work separate from your private life. So as soon as you encounter that difficult colleague in the hallways, ask yourself why you precisely dislike this person. Is it because they suspiciously resemble your I-know-it-all sister? Or your grumpy father? This way, you can let it go faster and focus on what matters: collaborating. And not on that fuss you experienced in your youth.
That's a good idea because you work an average of 90,000 hours in your life. That's one third of your waking life. And to not be found annoying , here are 7 useful tips from experts:
- Don't talk about your sex life
- Only eat your own food and clean up your mess
- Engage in small talk
- Show interest in their lives
- Don't stare at your phone too much
- Don't gossip too often
- Help someone in need
Source: Psychology Today
