Wow, Monica Lewinsky

I was flipping through the documentary about Bill Clinton last week, I believe on NPO2, and was captivated, touched, and uplifted by Monica Lewinsky. Imagine being her. The woman who suddenly became publicly and globally nailed to the pillory on that fateful day in January 1998.

Of course she had done something that she shouldn't have. But, as she says in her TED talk: is there anyone who hasn't done something at 22 that they later regretted? There are surely more people at that age who fell in love with their boss. She adds: although the chance is small that your boss was the president of America.

Monica steps outside. Why? Turns out to be a frequently asked question. Because she is done ‘walking on her toes through her past’, because she wanted to reclaim her own story, because she deserved a better ending.

Of course there was a trigger. Tyler Clementi, a student, was secretly filmed while having sex with another man. A roommate posted it online and three days later Tyler jumped off the Washington Bridge and ‘jumped into his death’. Monica's mother was so beside herself with rage that Monica could hardly understand it. After all, she didn't know the boy. Then it dawned on her that her mother was reliving 1998. The days when she sat by her bed every night. The days when Monica had to shower with the door open so her mother could see if she could literally hold herself together, the days when her parents feared for their daughter's life.

So now there was a reason. Online humiliation must come to an end. That's why Monica rose again. And how. Smart, warm, beautiful, funny.

1. Just a few sentences from her TED talk.

• “I recently spoke at Forbes 30 Under 30 and was a bit flirted with by a 27-year-old guy. I felt flattered, I'm 42. But I turned him down. Why? Because he had the worst pickup line ever. He said: I can make you feel 22 again.”
•  “I guess I’m the only person over 40 who does not want to be 22 again.”
• “I was seen by many, known by few.”

2. She was in love with her boss. That was stupid. But who wasn't stupid at twenty-two? Who has never been in love with someone who didn't belong to them? And who wouldn't be charmed by Bill Clinton in his heyday?

3. It was wrong, terribly wrong, she says. But the punishment? That was unparalleled and unprecedented. The whole world knew who she was. A slut, a whore, a bimbo. And worst of all: ‘that woman’.

4. She describes how she, under flickering fluorescent lights, had to listen to her own voice for 20 hours. Phone calls that were recorded by Linda Tripp, someone she thought was a friend. Is there anything worse than listening to your own voice for 20 hours? Your own stupid, lovesick, sometimes mean and ugly ‘self’? Yes, there is. That's when those conversations are broadcast on TV.

5. Monica, I think you couldn't have reclaimed your own narrative better. I hope you succeed in making empathy on social media greater than the public and unlimited stone-throwing. I wish you a chapter with recognition and empathy. You have mine.

6. Watch her TED talk here.

7. By the way, I just googled what happened to Linda Tripp (the so-called friend who leaked the tapes). She passed away in April this year from pancreatic cancer.

8. And she never heard from Bill Clinton again, he found his public apology sufficient.

Whether Monica has found love is not known. “There is enough known about my love life, that I believe I have the right to not disclose the rest of my life about it.”