10 unnecessary stupid facts about number 2

A little warning in advance: we're going to talk about poop. Everyone does it, almost no one talks about it. I dare to bet that there are a thousand unnecessarily ridiculous facts to be found about this poop issue, but I'll curate them for you, so you only get to read the facts that really have a smell to them.

1. Poop contains almost no digested food, it's mostly bacteria. Damn, that starts off nicely. The breakdown is approximately as follows: 50 to 80 percent of your feces (actually a nasty word) consists of bacteria, then you have some water, plant material that cannot be digested, and pieces of internal human.

*Just going to stop eating nuts while writing this epistle

2. Good poop should sink. A floating turd is a sign of poor nutrition. Just saying. Besides sinking, it's also important that pooping itself doesn't take effort. Straining is therefore out of the question.

3. Neil Armstrong left four bags of poop on the moon. Well, he was only human, it turns out.

4. Drinking heavily affects your bowel movements, they actually just go – uhh – a bit smoother and faster. So it's normal to notice that the next day.

5. Think of those delicious white sandy beaches where you can so nicely stick your toes in: that's partly fish poop from the parrotfish.

6. Men and women do not poop the same way. Always thought so, but it's just true. Due to the difference in build and intestines, it takes a different route. This is to the advantage of men, who can do it more easily because of the position of the internal circuit. Women take longer, about ten centimeters, and therefore suffer more from a bloated feeling.

7. Research showed that almost half of the population sometimes has trouble with number two. Among young women, this occurs even more often. Why, no one knows yet.

8. Poop is brown in color due to dead red blood cells and bile. Not very tasty, but nice to know that your body naturally expels all that.

9. Sitting on a toilet is not natural for humans, we should squat while we poop. This makes it easier.

10. It's normal for your stomach to feel like it's about to explode when you're menstruating and need to do number two. The pressure on your uterus and vagina seems to be much greater then.

PS: Ready for something light now? These are 10 unnecessarily ridiculous facts about wine.