Body language to pay attention to now that we are missing the handshake
It was always such a nice indicator. When meeting someone, you shook their hand and immediately knew what kind of person you were dealing with. Did a person roughly turn your hand downwards, was it a weak and sticky handshake, or did your hand get crushed to pieces? The body language told you enough.
Because of corona, we can say little about the handshake, but of course, you have plenty of other tricks to discover this. I asked body language expert Denise Dechamps from Body Language Academy what says the same as a weak handshake or that limp hand.
The dominant type
‘A man or woman who normally shows dominance in a firm handshake is now doing other things. For example, placing hands on the hips literally makes you strong in animal language. You are not protecting your torso but taking up space. You can be this as a replacement for the powerful handshake, especially if someone has their chin slightly raised. Cross display is another one. The legs are wider than the hips, and in some cases, someone tilts their pelvis to display the cross, which is a clear signal of dominance. The more you see these signs, the more likely someone usually squeezes your hand when shaking hands.’
Hands in the air
‘Normally, you give your hands something to do, but now you can see a personality in it. Someone who gestures with their palms up is much less dominant. By showing your wrists, you expose a vulnerable part of yourself. It is much less forceful than someone who moves their palms downwards; then you are more directive in a conversation. Palms down means: it has already been decided, that person determines how it will go. The looser the wrists and the rounder the movements are, the weaker the handshake would be. For example, you also have people who only shake fingers, which can mean that you are not fully committing. Someone might keep some distance because the person does not yet feel the click or trust, or because a person is introverted.’
The home base
‘Just like in sports, you have a base in body language, a kind of home base. Usually, our home base is the hands loosely clasped in front of your belly. Not to be confused with raising a barrier, such as holding a bag in front of your chest. Someone does this to protect themselves. It can also be with papers or a notebook. The higher that barrier is raised, the higher the tension, stress, or emotion in a person is.’
Giving an elbow
‘The elbow is tricky. It solves part of the greeting problem, but it says so little. If you squeeze very hard, it hurts. I then associate Adeline with pain, which means we don’t have a nice start to our relationship. The more pain a handshake causes, the more you store that. Just like with weak handshakes, you don’t make a connection. Actually, the perfect handshake is like squeezing a peach in the supermarket. You hold on and apply a little pressure to make a connection. You miss that moment now. Touching each other is important to see if someone is okay and belongs to the same tribe. An elbow is basically a weapon and therefore less friendly, just like a fist. It currently replaces a handshake, but there is no entanglement. You can see from the space an elbow takes whether someone is dominant or not. If someone gives a big swing and exposes the flank with an elbow, that person takes up a lot of space and is likely more dominant. If someone turns their torso or completely turns away? Then there is less connection, and that person is likely less dominant.’
What the head says
‘From the position of the head, eyes, and eyebrows, you can also see if someone is approachable. If someone keeps their head straight, that is a leading gesture. If someone tilts their head, that is a sign of being approachable. Just like with the eyebrows, because someone who raises their eyebrows is more submissive than someone who keeps their eyebrows down. Someone who gives a soft handshake now keeps their head tilted, exposes their neck, places their hips outward, and talks loosely with their wrists.’
