Do you also have FOGO (Fear of Going Out)?

I had two public ‘events’ yesterday. First a press lunch and in the evening a dinner with friends. Now I consider myself a pretty easy-going person, I have no phobias or even allergies, so just put me somewhere and I have fun. But suddenly I felt a little flutter in my stomach and was glad that my colleague-friend Daan was also present. Once inside, I saw colleague-editor-in-chief Annelies Pijper and I completely immersed myself in Fiona Hering, whom I had praised the night before via text for her wonderful performance at Boulevard. In the evening on the terrace of restaurant Gertrude, I saw a dear PR colleague with her husband, a former intern who now worked there, and I had the greatest fun with a group of guys who joined our conversation about, how could it be otherwise, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. A wonderful day, in short, that could have ended in another day on the couch if I hadn't given myself a little push.

FOGO is a common problem now that the doors to the old normal are opening a bit again. We have been so alert for a year and a half to avoid interpersonal contact that our body has built in a kind of instinctive fear response when it comes to being together in public places.

Now I am not afraid of getting sick (many people feel that way), but it feels a bit awkward to meet others again. For every problem, there is a solution, so psychologists have tips for FOGO as well.

1. Consider what is blocking you
Are you afraid of getting sick (for example, arrange to meet outside), do you find it exciting to enter the public arena again? Then go to a restaurant or event with someone close to you.

2. Write it down
Your body has now created a very strange association with coming together with other people. You have learned to listen to your body, but you need to turn that around again. Write down what a meeting can bring you. Meetings, stories, a wonderful loud laugh.

3. What if
In other words, the well-known plan B. Suppose it’s not fun or not safe in your eyes. What do you do then? For example, I drove to the restaurant in my own car yesterday. I found it a bit exciting to leave my children alone (they are already grown, right), so I went with my car and my husband came later with his car. That way I could always return if something was wrong. Think of a plan B that offers you safety. I eventually drove home feeling incredibly happy and satisfied, full of fun stories that I can rely on for a few days. Going out and being together is ultimately much more fun than the couch. And even more fun than The Real Housewives.