For Peter,

Where you were when you heard that you were no longer there, now sings around the country. I am strangely proud to be one of the many people who can add to where I was when I first saw you: in the hallway at John de Mol Productions. I always had to turn the corner where you were sitting to get to the Koffietijd oasis. You might think that you and your team laughed a bit at ‘the ponytails’ of Koffietijd, but I always enjoyed being with you. Kees, Arie, Samantha, the only woman on the editorial team whose pregnancy you followed by sticking a polaroid of her growing belly on the door every week. It was really with you. There was no threshold to walk into your office.

I will never, ever forget that I received the number of the (grand)parents of Marion and Romy from Kees for a special broadcast around Christmas, the mother and daughter who had been missing for years. A cold case that was completely closed at that moment, I believe for about fifteen years already. Marion's parents were my guests in a broadcast about loneliness around Christmas. I sent them greetings from Kees van der Spek, who was then working as an editor for your program. I also asked if they still spoke to him. They looked at me a bit surprised and replied: ‘Kees calls every day.’ Every day. Because that is what Kees learned. From you. That's how you are, that's how you are. A machine (because who can work as hard as you?) and a human. A human that we have been able to see more often in recent years. Tears for Nicky Verstappen, tears for Tanja Groen.

I think of Astrid and Sonja Holleeder, of the parents of Nicky Verstappen, of Beth Holloway, the parents of Marion and the grandparents of Romy. Of all those people you have supported, to whom you have done justice.

Do you know what I hope, Peter? That your family will have a video message for us. From you. Because you knew it could happen. You knew a lot. For some, too much.

I also hope that Kees will come with a secret document that he had to keep for you that contains everything you knew. So that evil can still be overcome and you can rule over your death. But I fear it won't work. Not even for you.

Do you know how the Italians say that they miss you? You are missing from us. And that, dear Peter, is exactly how it is. You are missing from us. It shouldn't have been this way.