I watched Just Say Yes on Netflix so you don't have to.

With my friends, I am known for being someone you can turn to for pretty much any kind of movie. All the bad Dutch films, you can criticize them as much as you want, I enjoy them. Recently, I watched Wat Is Dan Liefde on Netflix (with Elise Schaap) and I can tell you with a dead serious face that I found it a recommendation.

But sometimes… Sometimes there’s a movie that just really can’t be. I don’t even fully understand how it got past the selection committee. Who approved this script? The ter-ri-ble dialogues? The whole plot? With some films, so much goes wrong that I don’t even know where to start. But I’m going to try.

For example, I had this already with Falling Inn Love and a bit more recently with The Holidate, but last week it happened again. Just Say Yes. Okay, focus. Where to begin?

I must honestly admit that I watched this film in two parts: the first time I turned it off after half an hour and the second time I continued because I thought I had to warn you about it. And it hardly ever happens that I turn off films, but this just didn’t work. Starting with the casting of Yolanthe: I understand you want her in the lead role, but this character makes no sense at all.

Does anyone believe that a Yolanthe Cabau could ever be believable as the plain Jane? For those who have seen She’s All That back in the day, this is exactly the same: give her some oversized, dull clothing and a fringe (which I think is a bad wig) and they think that’s enough. Yes, this is what plain Janes look like, right? Well, not at all. And then she gets a completely predictable glow-up: fringe gone, high heels, and a cleavage. Add to that that she starts playing hard to get with the men and you have a femme fatale. Superficial much?

And as beautiful as I find Yolanthe (and I think she’s a really nice person too), I don’t think her acting is great here. I see absolutely zero emotion in her mannerisms, but even without that, you know from the very first second that she ends up with Jim Bakkum. Even though those two have the chemistry of two goldfish and the dialogues are delivered like a wooden door: those two are endgame.

But then the other characters: Nienke Plas is just playing herself, and you either love that or you don’t. Noortje Herlaar is the exaggerated, tone-deaf evil sister who has now become some sort of influencer, and Pip Pellens is the exaggerated best friend of her sister. Do you see a trend here? The film could also have been called Just Say Exaggerated, Superficial, and Predictable, indeed.

And then the moral of the story… Your terrible ex, of whom we have seen exactly NOTHING nice in the film but still that beautiful Yolanthe wants him back at all costs (for no explainable reason), turns out to not be worth it after all. That’s already ~shocking~ in itself, but that she ultimately chooses the good guy — just imagine, a woman could also end up alone and still be very happy (side note: that happiness only came after she had thrown away her plain Jane image) — we’ve seen that countless times already, right? It seemed to be going in the right direction, until the very last moment at the end. What a shame.

Yeah sorry, I just found this movie really bad-bad instead of the usual fun-bad Dutch film genre. The best part of the movie? Josylvio and Tino Martin. So you know what to expect.