I watched this new Netflix movie so you don't have to.

Providing you with the best and most fun Netflix tips is not always a fun task. No, I've realized that. That Netflix doesn't only know how to release hits, I've realized that too. And how. I've learned my lesson, you know. That so many clichés, predictable plotlines, and bad acting performances can be crammed into one movie. When you look at it that way, it's quite impressive. But people. What. Is. This. Movie. Bad.

Falling Inn Love is the one-and-a-half-hour fiasco you should avoid. If this is already too late, then you fully understand what I mean. I've sat in front of the TV shaking my head for an hour and a half. To start – where can I begin with this? – with the plot. Gabriela Diaz lives in San Francisco, and wins an inn (how?) through an online contest (how?) in New Zealand (HOW?). That already indicates a bit about the credibility of the story. Gabriela is played by Christina Milian. Yes, that singer. ‘From AM to PM’. Is she also an actress then? Based on this movie, I can't confirm that.

Okay, so Gabriela goes from San Fran to New Zealand and – oops – literally bumps into the handsome, muscular Jake right away. That should be some kind of awkward, cute, and funny moment, but it's mostly awkward (to watch, that is). By the way, the movie is full of these kinds of ‘cute’ moments. You might as well turn it into a drinking game. But anyway, the inn needs to be renovated and in the tiny village, there's only one man who can do that: Jake. And they fall in love. The. End.

In itself, that storyline could be wrapped up in say, about five minutes, but since it takes over an hour and a half, the creators decided to cram in as many romcom traits as possible. Superficial men that Gabriela deals with before she meets the one: check. Gabriela and Jake circling around each other because they absolutely don't realize they're head over heels in love: check. Gabriela's former boss is even named Chad – the American name for a loser (so don't name your kid that if you ever have plans for the USA). And of course, the incredibly unexciting climax. Gabriela plans to go back to the States, but Jake disagrees and stops her at the last moment. The. End. Oh, and in between, there's a random fire in the inn where Jake saves a life. Of course.

I've saved you an hour and a half of your life. No movie night this weekend.. Avoid at all costs. And Netflix, step up your game. If you'll excuse me now, I'm going to jam for another hour and a half to the old hits of Christina Milian. Those are really top-notch, by the way. And maybe secretly check if there's an online contest where I can win an unbelievable prize.