Lil's Baby Babble

Enzo is five months old. Five months. Over a thousand diapers later, and I won't bore you with all the baby clichés of a first bite, regulation days, and rolling situations. Five months. That also means a good dose of awkwardness in my case. Pumping without a bottle and bra pads all over the place; these are my most embarrassing mom moments so far. I can laugh about it now, but oh man… Blame it on the sleepless nights, preggo brains, and pink clouds (because oh, how my baby is the sweetest). Here they come:

1. That you only realize halfway through the day that you've only drawn one eyebrow. ‘Oh right: Enzo woke up while I was doing my makeup this morning...’ ‘Oh, and I also talked to the neighbor for so long. And did the groceries. And... Ah, nevermind.’

2. My JBL speaker for the shower has been traded in for a baby monitor. Too bad it wasn't waterproof...

3. So suddenly I have all these strange priorities in the shower. Shaving my legs? Sure. But then there's no time to wash my hair. Tomorrow's a new round, new chances.

4. Oh, and have you ever seen someone peel and eat a mandarin with one hand because there was a baby on her? Not a pretty sight.

5. Or what about scooping out a kiwi? Yep, same.

6. Staring at BabyTV while your baby was put to bed over an hour ago.

7. Pumping without bottles. Yep, true story.

8. Grocery shopping in your slippers. Or well... This almost happened. I realized while fueling up that I was in my slippers... Love the life.

9. And then your little one is almost almost almost asleep in your arms. Of course, that damn music mobile stops playing its lullaby right at that moment. Well, there's only one thing to do... Wind up the music mobile with your toe, HA HA.

10. And when he finally sleeps, you have to sneeze and try to swallow your sneeze (???). Okay. Awake. That made even more noise than an ordinary sneeze.

11. Also nice: only realizing on your friend's couch that there's a dried-up pile of baby vomit chilling on your shoulder. I was already wondering why her fridge smelled so bad. But guess what? It was me.

12. Crying while he gets his vaccinations. Yes indeed. Now I have a double fear of needles.

13. When your bra pad suddenly peeks out above your top during a visit to the dentist's chair. Awkward.

14. That during a guys' night ice cubes are being searched for and the loot turns out to be frozen breast milk cubes. Yes yes yes, very funny, guys.

15. In the park calling your dog ‘here's mama’. Yes. No. That's not what I meant, people. But I just became a mother, okay? My baby is at home. Okay, nevermind. They really think I'm very weird. I can see it in everything.

Image: theclickingmom