Amayzine

Temptation Island: The Aftertalk

Temptation Island: The Aftertalk of episode 9

Ooooh delicious, it was Temptation night again yesterday. Let's be honest: this season hasn't been disappointing so far. And that's mainly because of Bertus, although I really didn't think that at first. No, I thought Wouter would be the clown of the season. Turns out he hardly has any lines, and we're already at episode 9. It could use a bit more, because Bert is now hanging out as the clown all by himself and that's going the wrong way. No, what am I saying? He's already completely gone the wrong way.

1. ‘Bertus, how are you doing here tonight?’ *sweaty hands* ‘Carefree.’ ‘Nooo, that tension is really because I’m so involved.’ Hm-hm. Make that the cat wise.

2. Yeah man, Nico? Do you think that message of yours, that you’ve been really unfaithful, has really hit hard?

3. ‘If that happened to me, I would find it really bad.’ NO WAY.

4. But seriously, what did you expect? You confess your mistake in the most cowardly way possible and then you're still shocked that she doesn't want to continue with you. People continue to amaze me.

5. HAHA. And Bertus is also sighing and groaning in the meantime. Oh, oh, oh, how pathetic Nico is. Yeah okay, he had sex with someone else and told her that through a video. But that she then moves on? Alone? And looks at other men? The ~audacity~.

6. Since Bert has been single, he really feels like a savage, I must say. That little glasses, those statements (‘I hope she has no respect for me anymore’, who says that?). I think this character is so far removed from how he actually is that it makes it so uncomfortable to watch.

7. ‘I have no words for this, man. I have no words for this.’ And those are probably the only words we’re going to hear from Wouter this episode.

8. The conclusion that Delphine must have cheated is really so far-fetched that I really wonder how strong Bertus's glasses are.

9. I guess he was more in the category of ‘Fuck you, I can do better, there are so many more fun guys than you’, in other words, the drunken session that everyone with a broken heart has had at some point.

10. ‘You’re not going to tell me that the roofer is going to take your girl.’ Uh, what? Nico, you only owe your job to the father of the girl you cheated on hard. Shall we wait a bit with judging other people's careers? Kthnx.

11. Songs you didn’t know you needed: ultra-dramatic version of ‘Leef’ on the piano.

12. What. They just have karaoke at Tempa. HOW FUN. Maybe I should sign up now too. Just singing songs.

13. ‘I’m going to train for a bit, otherwise I’ll break everything.’ Wow, if that was my way of dealing with setbacks, I would really be a sick fit girl instead of a functioning alcoholic.

14. Is there a playlist on Spotify with all the songs from Temptation? Those drama songs? If not, can someone make that?

15. That conversation with Delphine and the two seducers looks really staged. Anyway, the production must have said: ‘Hey, go sit on that bench together and chat about last night. It’s fun. Just do it.’

16. Huh Bertus, now suddenly you have so much pain? You were so cool at the campfire. And stop talking about Delphine cheating, because she doesn’t mean that at all.

17. Moreover, you booked a hotel room for you and another lady but your young man didn’t cooperate. Something with pot and kettle and accusations.

18. ‘They’ve all had the same STD in their lives.’ Well, well, say. HAHA. Bertus, what are you saying?

19. Aahh delicious, this. The seducers and Wouter (nice that we got to see him too) don’t believe a word of Bert anymore. Neither do I. I can’t listen to it anymore.

20. And you really can’t convince me that Delphine first gave Bert an STD and secondly that he believed it came from a sauna. Did no one in that villa pay attention in biology?

21. Hilarious if a visit to the sauna is accompanied by a trip to the GGD. Morning-after pill included for safety.

22. HAHAHA. Monica. You definitely wouldn’t have done this if you knew you would be helping Aylin in a mental breakdown. What a bunch of fuckers this season, I must say.

23. An active date… Is a photoshoot together? This seems like the most terrible date in the history of ever. What a hell.

24. Missed opportunity that they didn’t send Bert on a massage date.

25. Oh no, I take it back. That someone is going to play guitar and sing for me, more specifically: someone who can’t do that and you’re forced to endure it.

26. ‘I find it very attractive when someone plays music. …But especially when someone can do it well.’ HAHA. Nice one, Aylin. Praise this subtle burn.

27. At home? Someone waiting? That you miss? Bertus. You dirty rat. Never has someone been so insincere in Temptation and that really says something.

28. And Twitter? Yeah, they’re also a bit done with Bertus.