7 ideas to spice up your sex life when you live together
It is well known that the exciting sex life tends to fade shortly after moving in together. In the past, you would drag each other into bed three times a week, but after cohabiting, there is mostly a lot of Netflixing and less ‘chilling’. It's not a disaster, but if you can't even remember the last time, it's time for action in the taxi. Here are 7 ideas to spice up your sex life when you live together.
1. Check yourself
To get closer to each other, you first need to look at yourself. What are your habits, thought patterns, and pitfalls? How do you contribute to the fading of your sex life? If you can recognize and adjust your own thinking and patterns, you are already a big step closer to positive change.
2. Step out of your comfort zone
Do you know the saying ‘comfort is the enemy of progress’? When you've been together for a long time, you're in a huge comfort zone. On one hand, that's great because you feel completely at ease with each other. Between the sheets, you know exactly what each other likes and what not. The downside is that your sex life becomes predictable. Be honest: almost every sexual encounter looks about the same by now, right? The location, the positions, and how long it lasts. Trying new things is the key to breaking the routine. Check these 5 exciting tips for a date night.
3. Talk about it
In a budding relationship, you regularly have the ‘what are we to each other’ conversation. When you already live together, such a relationship status conversation seems unnecessary. After all, you live together, which means you've chosen each other. But even then, it's nice to have The Talk regularly, even if there's no doubt that you are still happy together. You can easily express what you would like to try in the relationship and in bed. The key is to keep such a conversation positive. If you find it difficult to talk about sex, check these tips.
4. Sex bucket list
A great way to keep your sex life interesting – even if you've been together forever – is to try new things. We mentioned it above. An easy and playful way is to create a sex bucket list. Write down on slips of paper things you still want to try. It can be anything, big or small. A certain position, a crazy sex location, or a role play. No peeking at each other's lists, that takes away the surprise. Agree to pick a slip from the pot every now and then.
5. Keep thinking about sex
Your brain determines what is important by incoming signals and conscious thoughts and decisions. By regularly actively thinking about sex, you let your brain know that this is a priority. This makes it easier to switch from work/parent mode to sexy time.
6. Focus on your senses
Are you having sex, but is it not as satisfying as it used to be? Do your thoughts constantly drift off to other things? Then try to focus on your senses. Look for five things you feel, four things you see, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you taste.
7. Remember: sex is not everythingFor no one is it always one big fireworks show. It's normal for your sex life to be a little less frequent and shorter at times. Sex is just one part of your relationship; ups and downs are part of it. There are also other ways to be intimate, and those can sometimes be just as nice as sex.
