This way you can check if your sex life has become monotonous

This week I was sitting on the terrace, on that one scorching hot day, with a rosé and a portion of olives. Together with a girlfriend, watching people walk by a bit. It's bizarre by the way that they still had the energy to walk, because I really couldn't do anything in that heat. That's why we quickly decided not to leave our spot for the time being and we stuck to that. The couple next to us happened to have exactly the same plan and we started talking; they had been together for years and we talked about relationships.

To be a bit more specific: how relationships stay good after years, how to prevent a rut, or is that unavoidable? The man from the couple then told me a brilliant test for your relationship. I had never heard of it (according to him it was a ‘very well-known test’), but I find it really hilarious. Side note: you should actually start this test when you are still in the intensely in-love phase of your relationship.

You know, that phase where you really can't keep your hands off each other, you see your friends less because you are so in love and you would prefer to have sex every day. Or multiple times a day. That phase where you can't imagine that it will ever be different (spoiler: it will be).

Well, now the test: during this phase, put a glass jar on the table and put a coffee bean, or a marble, or something like that in it every time you have sex. Keep doing that after each time, until the jar is full. Of course, it depends on what size jar you picked, but the chance is quite present that it will fill up fairly quickly in your passionate relationship.

And now the painful part of the test: when the jar is full, you take one out every time you have sex. The man we were talking to had recommended this to several friends, including friends who left their partner for someone else ‘because the excitement was gone’. He told his friends time and again that that excitement would also go away with the new partner, but of course, that was not believed. And yes: not a single person in his circle has managed to empty that jar.

When I enter that in-love phase, I slam that jar on the table, because of course I think it will be different for me. But of course, that will not be the case.