17 Things You Shouldn't Say to Your Partner During Labor

It's been a while for me, but I remember it exactly. While I was scratching the edge of the bathtub with my nails, I saw them still there the next day, my love was smoking a panic cigarette on the balcony. Right at the front of the house where I was lying at the back, even around the corner, puffing. Between each contraction, I tried to call him. First lovingly, then again, then a bit more forcefully, calling his full name, and then I screamed his name at full force after the most painful contraction, followed by: ‘Don't smoke!’

This one should be on the list of things you shouldn't do/say during childbirth as a man.

1. Smoke

2. Complaining about stomach pain
Yes, there are those types. While you've already endured 24 hours of contractions, and counting, they're rubbing their belly and complaining that the shawarma didn't sit well. Tip: just don't. Eating shawarma or complaining about stomach pain.

3. Leaving a glass of milk somewhere
When you're giving birth, you smell everything. Even a glass of milk. That has to go, go, go.

4. Eating or drinking at all

5. Not asking anything
It's better to do something and say that if we don't want it, we'll shake our heads no. My midwife said, for example: ‘I'm putting a cold washcloth on your lower back now. If you find that annoying, just push it away.’ Not asking: ‘Do you want a bathrobe or would you prefer a bath towel?’ It sounds strange, but when you're in labor, everything hurts: talking, thinking, answering; everything.

6. Watching football
I have a friend who was watching Feyenoord-Ajax or Rome-Milan, I don't know exactly but it was super exciting, during the birth. Even the doctor present suggested turning off the device. Better for the birth, and probably for the rest of the marriage too.

7. Fainting
I mean: come on.

8. Saying that it's a bit disappointing overall

9. Or this: ‘Yes, she has to give birth, but she's doing it herself, has control. I just have to watch helplessly. Do you know how bad that is?’

10. Flirting with the attractive co-assistant

11. Saying that you can rest during your leave, but he just has to go back to work

12. Asking for the husband stitch. So whether that love channel can be a bit tighter.

13. ‘Did you already do the groceries?’

14. ‘Studio Sport starts in ten minutes.’

15. ‘Can it be a bit quieter?’

16. ‘You too a beer?’

17. ‘I'll be right back.’