Everything you think during a visit to the hairdresser
To the hairdresser, I have a love-hate relationship with it. Wonderful to be groomed for a moment, but I can also just want to stay in bed for a week because I've let myself be talked into it again. I've had orange locks before, not agreed layers and lowlights.
1. Making an appointment with a hairdresser you know and then not showing up with that person in the chair
And then just hoping that you end up with that junior stylist you booked and not with a senior. In that case, you can say goodbye to your money. That happened to me, it cost almost 70 euros.
2. Having to repeat for the ninth, tenth, eleventh time how you want it
I just want the ends trimmed, I’m not picky about how much, just what’s necessary. And the face framing just like I had it before. No, I don’t want layers and you don’t have to style it (for an extra 25 euros), it’s nice that you ask again.
3. Completely examining your hair and telling you what’s wrong with it
I know that I don’t treat my hair well sometimes. No, I don’t sleep with wet hair, usually. I know that elastics are not good for my hair, I really try to use a nice pin or clip more often.
4. Just when you’ve gotten that terribly warm cape on, you get itchy
And exactly where you can’t reach, on your nose or forehead, so uncomfortable. Have you ever asked the hairdresser to scratch you a bit?
5. And then cutting the bangs shorter than what you just discussed
WHY? Every time again.
6. Drinking during your treatment
It’s nice that you get a cup of tea as soon as you sit down, but you can’t move and therefore can’t drink, because then they cut crooked. Then, when you can finally get your arms out from under the cape, it’s already cold, dirty, and too strong. You never dared to take that bag out. Why don’t we just get that cup of tea when we have to wait?
7. When the hairdresser is happily chatting with his/her colleague
And also holding your hair, making all kinds of movements, pulling on your hair, ouch. They’re half combing your hair while you’re looking at a very weird version of yourself in the mirror. Very uncomfortable all of it.
8. And then the question barrage. All. Those. Questions…
What do you do in daily life, what did you study, do you have a relationship, do you also go on vacation, what are your future plans? Oh, sorry, I first need to get the strands of hair out of my mouth before I can respond to this. And of course the classic: ‘Are you doing anything fun this weekend?’ and then just nodding and continuing to chat with that colleague because yes, you can’t hear me because of the hairdryer.
9. When you have to wait for the foils to set and you can sit somewhere else
Poof, as if you no longer exist. There you are sitting on a bench in the corner surrounded by magazines from the year ’00 with your cold tea.
Hopefully she’ll come check on how my hair is doing in fifteen minutes. In the meantime, you’re constantly afraid that you’ll be forgotten and that you’ll go home with orange hair. Or green.
10. Saying that everything would look good on you
Just before they finish, you often get all the compliments; this always makes me extremely skeptical. Did I just see an orange strand? Does my bangs look even shorter than I thought?
11. Shall I use a nice shampoo for your hair?
Uh yes, but can you please mention that you’ll charge an extra €7.50 for that from now on?
12. You think that shampoo smells nice, right?
There are already two ribs out of my body to that senior hairdresser, the blow-drying and that expensive drop of shampoo and now you also want to sell me a bottle of shampoo for 40 bucks? What do you think?
And as a dessert, the question: ‘Shall we schedule a new appointment right away?’ So that I never get out of the loop.
Image: Netflix
