Love & Sex

#FML: ‘I fell in love with the man we were swinging with’

By Amayzine | #!31Mon, 03 Jul 2023 14:00:00 +0200+02:000031#31Mon, 03 Jul 2023 14:00:00 +0200+02:00-2Europe/Amsterdam3131Europe/Amsterdam202331 03pm31pm-31Mon, 03 Jul 2023 14:00:00 +0200+02:002Europe/Amsterdam3131Europe/Amsterdam2023312023Mon, 03 Jul 2023 14:00:00 +0200002007pmMonday=9#!31Mon, 03 Jul 2023 14:00:00 +0200+02:00Europe/Amsterdam7#07-03-2023#!31Mon, 03 Jul 2023 14:00:00 +0200+02:000031#/31Mon, 03 Jul 2023 14:00:00 +0200+02:00-2Europe/Amsterdam3131Europe/Amsterdam202331#!31Mon, 03 Jul 2023 14:00:00 +0200+02:00Europe/Amsterdam7#

woman and man laughing talking to each other on a bench drinking champagne

When Rick first told me about his interest in swinging, I was completely shocked. Him?! Swinging? As far as I knew, he didn't have an adventurous bone in his body. Besides, the idea of him having to share with someone else was really terrible to me. I had always focused on building a strong and monogamous relationship where we would be faithful to each other, and I thought he felt exactly the same way.

Despite my doubts and objections, I eventually agreed to open ourselves up to the idea of swinging. I had to secretly admit that our relationship had become quite stagnant. After a while, we met another couple through an online platform who already had experience in this lifestyle, and we slowly began this new adventure.

At first, we only met as a group of four. Somewhere I found it a nice idea that I could still keep an eye on Rick. A few months later, he suggested that we could maybe meet separately. He with Julia, the woman from the other couple, and I with Maarten, her husband. The more adamant I was against this idea at first, the more I now supported it. It seemed like my boundaries shifted a little each time, and I didn't mind at all.

After Maarten and I met separately for the third time, I realized why that was. I felt myself increasingly attracted to him. A spark developed between us, a desire that I couldn't ignore. Every meeting after that became an inner struggle between my loyalty to my Rick and my growing feelings for Maarten.

I realize that I have placed myself in an impossible situation and have been thinking a lot lately about the time when Rick and I still had a monogamous relationship. Back then, everything was so much simpler, and I didn't even know that desire in this form existed. My heart is now torn between my love for my husband and the attraction to Maarten. Now I wonder if I should be open about this, and if so, to whom? To Rick with the risk that he (rightly) totally doesn't see this and pulls the plug on this arrangement? To Maarten with the risk that he thinks the same, or worse: doesn't think that way at all? Or to both with the risk that everything falls apart? Of course, I could also just keep it to myself to maintain the peace and be sure that everything stays as it is, but whether that really makes me happy...