Love & Sex

Open relationships are on the rise and this is why

By Sophie Rietmulder | #!31Tue, 04 Jul 2023 13:00:42 +0200+02:004231#31Tue, 04 Jul 2023 13:00:42 +0200+02:00-1Europe\/Amsterdam3131Europe\/Amsterdam202331 04pm31pm-31Tue, 04 Jul 2023 13:00:42 +0200+02:001Europe\/Amsterdam3131Europe\/Amsterdam2023312023Tue, 04 Jul 2023 13:00:42 +0200001007pmTuesday=9#!31Tue, 04 Jul 2023 13:00:42 +0200+02:00Europe\/Amsterdam7#07-04-2023#!31Tue, 04 Jul 2023 13:00:42 +0200+02:004231#\/31Tue, 04 Jul 2023 13:00:42 +0200+02:00-1Europe\/Amsterdam3131Europe\/Amsterdam202331#!31Tue, 04 Jul 2023 13:00:42 +0200+02:00Europe\/Amsterdam7#

Don't call me when it comes to sharing my man. Just the thought makes me as jealous as when my little sister got the latest Bratz doll for her birthday and I didn't (I got it ten minutes later, but still). Yet I hear it more and more around me: open relationships are totally 2023. People I never expected are suddenly open about the fact that they are in a non-monogamous relationship and are therefore dating and/or having sex with others. Personally, I could never handle this.

Of course, you choose an open relationship yourself, so the partners who agree that they can engage in romantic and/or sexual relationships with others will undoubtedly unanimously agree that this is a lifestyle that suits them, but how is it that having an open relationship has suddenly become so incredibly popular?

Over the years, our views on monogamy and traditional marriage have changed significantly. With 25,000 marriages failing annually in 2023, I don't find that strange at all. We have also never been as free as we are now when it comes to exploring our sexuality. Psychologist Sarah Levinson saw this ‘sexual revolution’ emerge in 2016 and indicates that it has now reached a peak thanks to the pandemic (in which people had all the time to rediscover themselves), the rise of social media, and the way millennials doubt the way they were raised and increasingly feel that one partner is not enough to meet all their needs. We also talk about it much more easily nowadays. Celebrities like Angela Groothuizen and Carolien Borgers have been open about the impact of a non-monogamous relationship on their lives.

Social media and dating apps have made the world smaller and give people the chance to connect with people they otherwise wouldn't have encountered quickly. A case of ‘the choice is huge’. Where the idea of one true love was already considered quite outdated by many, this lifestyle has become something for the history books with the advent of social media, and the times of marrying and starting a family before your 25th are really over. And thank goodness: if I had settled down at 25, I would now be married to Rutger from Tinder, who couldn't even come up with a witty remark if it hit him literally in the face. The thought makes me utterly unhappy.

Levinson indicates that maintaining an open relationship requires a high degree of communication. Trust and honesty are paramount when it comes to effectively addressing and overcoming feelings like jealousy and insecurity. Talk about your (sexual) boundaries and dare to express your emotions freely, even if those emotions feel uncomfortable. In fact: especially when those emotions feel uncomfortable. Feeling safe and secure with each other is always important, but in the case of an open relationship, it is vital.

Whether you support the idea of an open relationship or not: building a relationship outside traditional norms has never been more in vogue. This is the time to write your own rules and not let anyone tell you how to handle your relationship. Even if your dearest wish is to marry and start a family before your 25th, I won't tell anyone.

Source: BBC