God zij dank, het is vrijdag: Renée Koudstaal

It's just that she's so incredibly fun, otherwise you would be terribly jealous of Renée Koudstaal. I mean: an apartment in a beautiful hôtel particulier in the heart of Paris, speaking fluent French, a battery of stylish French girlfriends, and also making your love your work: writing about France. She is re-releasing her book ‘Live like a Parisienne, even if you're totally Dutch’ to celebrate the sixth edition, which is of course the reason to ask her for the oversized white shirt off her back.

Renée, it's Friday afternoon. Is an ice-cold Chablis dancing in your glass, do you have your polished little feet draped on your windowsill with a view over the Parisian rooftops, and are you looking forward to a successful week?
‘This week was half Dutch and half Parisian, where I am now. It's autumn break, so together with my children, I enjoy the city every day in complete peace. I am as proud as can be when I see them walking through Paris; giving them a second culture is such a wealth. And besides, I am actually always working. As a journalist, as an image consultant for female professionals, and now the promotion of my book is taking place.’

Every woman I tell about you is jealous of your life. How did everything come about?
‘I always find jealousy interesting because often there is something behind it of ‘I want that too’. And if I can serve as an example to show that more is possible than you think: that's perfectly fine! I've never had a simple life; I've encountered many complicated hurdles. My first name means to be reborn, well, I've known that, haha. I've learned from this that you really have to make something of it yourself. I've become very good at that. I put myself first, and I am also very honest about what makes me a happy person or not. From here, I set up a life à la carte. In my case, that means no office job and a life in two cities.’

Your book is called ‘Live like a Parisienne, even if you're totally Dutch. I believe that we Dutch women always want three things: to be able to sing well, to dance classically, and secretly to be a Parisienne. The last one is something unattainable, but how do we get a little closer?
‘The first two are totally unattainable for me! The third was my dream, which has become a reality. You are not born a Parisian; you become one, said Sacha Guitry. I completely agree. The best first step is to not start with clothing, but with your mindset. Striving for independence. Making your own choices and living by them. Placing the responsibility on yourself and obligating yourself to enjoy all the little happiness that hides behind a nice cake, a painting, or the smile of someone you love. Of course, you can learn all about this way of living in my book (and of course, you also get a lot of clothing tips).’

Still being true to this column: what music plays in the background for you on Friday night? And what was cooked and eaten?
‘Tonight, friends are coming over for dinner at my place. In the background, my playlist on Spotify ‘Renee K’ is playing, with current French music. There will be little cooking tonight; it will be a grilled chicken with potatoes from the butcher on Rue de Bretagne with a salade verte. A friend always brings macarons from Pierre Hermé. And red wine, from apéro to dessert.’

And come on, tell us your two favorite restaurants in Paris?
‘I don't really have favorites, more of a sort of assortment that I choose from based on the occasion. At the moment, Le Petit Marché, 9 Rue de Béarn, is high on my list for dining with friends, and Les Caryatides of Hotel Alfred Sommier for business lunches and dinners.’

Okay, back to your book. It was a success. Such a big success that there was a reissue. What did you add, what was removed?
‘Only more was added! I wrote a new chapter about buying vintage and dressing with all my favorite vintage addresses in the Netherlands. In general, all addresses in the Netherlands and Paris are updated and supplemented. And I interviewed even more fantastic women like ballerina Igone de Jongh about elegance and makeup artist Véronique Leysen (very well known on Insta as @mauricetteveronique) about the French natural look.’

An elevator pitch; what makes your book the ideal Christmas gift?
‘Paris and everything the city and its inhabitants taught me has given my life so much beauty, and I truly wish that for everyone. That's why I wrote this book. Giving someone more self-confidence, enjoyment, self-care, and style pleasure seems to me a wonderful gesture. Don't forget the gift-to-yourself concept, very Parisienne. By the way, the new edition has a beautiful golden cover.’

Okay, your weekends in Paris. What do they look like? And please the longest possible version.
‘Our weekend starts at the market on boulevard Richard Lenoir, which I consider the best. Many friends live nearby, so there is always a coffee moment together or a lunch at someone's home. No weekend goes by without an exhibition or a visit to a gallery. For example, we are often found at Musée Carnavalet. But we also really enjoy being at home with the kids. No hockey or soccer matches at 9 a.m.: wonderful. If the weather is nice, we go to the larger parks like Parc Royal, or completely outside Paris: Chantilly or Versailles. The weekend is really about relaxing and being together, especially because we don't see each other much during the week.’

You commute between Paris and the Netherlands. What do you have to get used to every time, both here and there?
‘The switching happens automatically after all these years, so it's not really getting used to, but you still see the differences. How everything is planned in the Netherlands and how everything is less planned in France, both privately and professionally. I am currently preparing a trip for 60 Dutch entrepreneurs to Paris. That is always balancing between wanting to document everything and leaving room for improvisation later. That also applies to clothing style. I explain all of this in my e-course ‘Dress like the Parisiennes’.

I recently read an Insta post where you complained about the Dutch woman who spoke so loudly in the Thalys. I understand that we are sometimes a bit less refined than the Françaises, but there must be something in which you find us more likable than the Parisienne. Right? Come on?
‘That was a group of young women who indeed let everyone enjoy discussions about how difficult it was for their partners to take a paternity leave. Yes, that gives me the creeps, whether they are Dutch or French, by the way. But of course, I also find Dutch women very nice. In the last part of my book, I turn the question around and ask my Parisiennes what they would like to learn from the Dutch woman.’

Then once again about your weekend. Suppose time, space, and flight shame didn't matter. What would your dream weekend look like?
‘I actually don't need to go far. My ideal weekend is in France, in my future little house in Normandy, in the Pays-d’Auge region. Far away from the hustle and bustle, a lounge chair under the apple tree in my garden, a stack of books, the tastiest French cheeses, a glass of wine, and a small cinema in the village next door. With of course my loved ones not too far away and friends who can always join whenever they want. À l’improviste!’

And how does your Monday morning look?
‘My Monday mornings almost always start in Amsterdam, on the schoolyard in the Jordaan, and then with a cup of coffee looking at how I will tackle the coming week. WITHOUT worrying too much about how full the agenda is, after all, I chose that myself and I am grateful for it.’

Image: Main image photographer Noemi Micheau, Extra image  @renee.k.parisienne