This is why you might be jealous of your partner's past love life

People who feel absolutely no jealousy; how wonderful that seems to me. Unfortunately, I am not blessed with that and I have a healthy (I think…) dose of jealousy in me. To the dismay of my ex, I must say. The fact that he ended up with exactly the person I was jealous of has not done my talent for jealousy any good at all. Yes, this is really a treat for psychologists. And they have quite a lot to say about it and they all have explanations for it.

The most special form of jealousy in a relationship, I find, is still the inability to accept that your partner had a life before you. With crushes, with bed partners, with relationships. And that every time you hear something about it, you feel a jealous stab in your stomach. No stress: according to psychologists, this is not strange at all and you can do something about it.

According to psychologists, these are the causes and the solutions:

1. Insecurity
Well, a bit of a shot at an open goal, right? It’s no news that jealousy often stems from insecurity. But what can we do about it? According to psychologists, there are two things:

– Self-reflection: name your positive qualities for yourself, what you have achieved, what makes you you, and how much you are worth.
– Try to think rationally: everyone has a past, including you and your partner. But that doesn’t mean you are not enough as a partner or that your partner longs for the past; those are all thoughts in your head, so try to stay aware that these thoughts are not based on anything.

2. Comparing with others
It’s in many people to constantly compare themselves with others, and social media doesn’t help: we constantly see the so-called perfect lives of others, because very few people show the lesser sides. And that’s why you tend to think that everything was perfect, including your partner’s relationship with their ex. Here’s how to deal with it:

– Resist the urge to go online snooping: you won’t be happy when you turn your partner’s entire past upside down via Instagram. And not only that, it’s also disrespectful to your current partner.
– Seek distraction: do things that make you happy and give you positive energy, so you don’t have hours to function as internet-FBI.
– Spend time with your partner: create new memories together, have fun together, just be together. If you are happy when you are with your partner, you really have no time, desire, or motivation to let yourself be driven crazy.

Source: PsychologyToday