This is what we all think when we are drunk

You know what they say: drunk words are sober thoughts. And there is not a word of a lie in this – it’s even scientifically proven. There’s a good chance you won’t remember it the next day, so let me remind you of what might have gone through your mind this weekend, because with most ladies, it’s always the same thoughts after a bottle of rosé.

‘I really need to film this’
Of course, after four glasses of wine, everything suddenly becomes hilarious. So hilarious that your Instagram followers need to see this, whether they want to or not. I just don’t know what’s worse: seeing your own story the morning after or spotting yourself in someone else’s.

‘I can’t really tell this, but…’
As soon as there’s even a drop of alcohol in you, you turn into a walking gossip channel. Everyone is scrutinized and no soul is spared.

‘Crap, my phone is only 2 percent’
How are you going to order an Uber now? And how are you going to pay for your round later? You haven’t seen a debit card in years, of course.

‘That glass of water will definitely help’
To compensate for that one shot of vodka – which didn’t go down too well – you think that a glass of water in between will surely help. It doesn’t, but it’s the thought that counts.

‘Have I really been like this all night?’
The melted foundation, the vanished smoky eye, and the crooked lip liner; no primer or setting spray can fix that. Especially not with that harsh fluorescent lighting on your face.

‘I need to eat something NOW’
A croquette sandwich at the FEBO sounds very tempting after a few alcoholic snacks. And while you’re at it: throw in a large fries with extra mayo.

‘I’ll take my makeup off tomorrow’
I get it: those five minutes to take off your mascara and foundation is really too much to ask after such a long night. Better to have an extra pimple.

’Let me call my ex’
Because there you are: staring at the ceiling, lonely in bed. In other words, the perfect opportunity to call that one ex you know will come over anyway. Regret is something for later.

Image: Netflix