Watch out for this toxic dating trend

Yep, it's that time again. All alarm bells in the dating realm are ringing, because it's time to watch out for the latest toxic dating trend: ghostlighting. Ghosting is really not done in itself, especially in a time when we can reach each other in dozens of ways if we wanted to. It makes you insecure and gives you zero insight into why your situationship suddenly came to an end. If the ghost from your past ever resurfaces, you would expect a clear explanation for why they suddenly stopped communicating, or at the very least a thorough apology for leaving without warning. But in the case of ghostlighting (ghosting and gaslighting combined), you shouldn't expect any of that. Unlike a standard ghoster, a ghostlighter will disappear and then suddenly return, denying that they ever ghosted you.

Well, that certainly doesn't show an attractive character, but it can really confuse you while it doesn't immediately occur to you to let that person go. Ghostlighters are actually experts at twisting the narrative to make you feel like they never left you hanging. No, they were just busy, were in a place without reception for weeks (do you believe that?) or simply flat out deny that they ghosted you. Whatever their excuse is, it's never their fault. It creates space for you to be easily misled, making you feel like your relationship still has a chance while the other shows minimal effort.

I don't know why ghostlighters enjoy keeping you on this string of pure ignorance. What I do know is that it feels incredibly bad and that it's important to keep trusting your self-assessment ability. The goal of a ghostlighter is to confuse you as much as possible, but you can always think for yourself, no matter how much you like someone. You can choose not to allow the ghostlighter in your life anymore, which is probably a good decision. After all, ghostlighting is an immensely large, wildly waving red flag. On the other hand, you can also confront the ghostlighter directly by asking a specific question about why they ghosted you, but be careful: these kinds of people will always give you an answer that is of no use to you.

If you feel the desire to continue your relationship with a ghostlighter, it's important to identify what you do and do not accept regarding the behavior of a potential partner and to stick to that. Remember that you deserve to have a partner who makes you feel good about yourself, not one who constantly makes you doubt yourself and disappears when it suits them. That's so out of style.

Source: Well + Good