Dear Martijn survivor,

How was yesterday? Where did you hear that the Public Prosecution Service demanded eight years in prison against Martijn N.?

The man who sank his teeth into your neck and left a scratch on your soul. You were curious about who you really were and about the big city. That life that was waiting for you and laughing at you. Of course, you assumed the best. You didn't know any better. And those who do good, meet good, right?

So about that message from that nice man on Facebook, who invited you for a day in Amsterdam. A big guy in the fashion world, he was. Maybe he could help you later and be a mentor for you. You saw almost no harm in it. Maybe just a tiny bit, because you didn't tell your parents. But hey, that's part of breaking free and growing up, right? You didn't need those training wheels, so you took them off for today.

With your pocket money, you bought a train ticket to Amsterdam. He would wait for you and show you around. You didn't know that he had his own ideas about it ‘in every respect.’.

“I don't abuse boys, I use them,” said Martijn N. in an earlier interrogation. That seems to me a fine line that is open to different interpretations. I only know that 28 boys like you have reported sexual unwanted behavior, many of whom say they are convinced they were drugged.

I wonder how it is for you now. Hearing demands for eight years in prison against the person who caused the darkest night of your life. Then it feels like someone is listening to you, but you probably also realize again how intense it was. Like when blood spurts from a wound. You didn't exaggerate or make it bigger, it really is bad. Others think so too. Even the public prosecution.

It's not over yet. Tomorrow, Martijn's lawyers will speak, the verdict will follow later. I think you listen a lot to Vampire by Olivia Rodrigo and I hope you have a bath and a bed full of love. Removing the scar won't work, but gently covering it with love, that should be possible.

I wish you strength and love,

May