Why even the happiest couples argue about money

You really have a nice relationship, yes yes. You love each other, know each other inside out, and share your life with each other in a romantic way. But there are still regular arguments. About that one terrible subject that everyone fights about.

Money.

Because: even if there is enough money, it still causes discussions. ‘You didn't pay this month.’ ‘But I bought clothes for the kids.’ ‘But the household account is empty.’ ‘And I covered that dinner with friends.’ According to psychologists, this happens because we are all, deep down, just a little different when it comes to money. For example, I can get a bonus of 5,000 euros and immediately think: hello new Chanel bag. He can get a bonus of 5,000 euros and think: good for our joint savings account. Because everyone thinks differently about money and the value of money, you get friction in a relationship.

Fortunately, you are not the only one who has this at home. A survey conducted by the American Psychological Association found that money is the most common source of stress in relationships, with 31 percent of respondents indicating that financial matters regularly led to conflicts in their relationship. This study also emphasizes that money-related conflicts occur more often than arguments about other subjects, such as household chores or dealing with in-laws. Issues about spending, issues about savings that aren't there, nagging about where you spend money while you said you would save more, who pays more, how to arrange that mortgage... How about ‘there's still an unpaid bill on the table’. Who shops too much... It's just something you quickly disagree about.

So, what helps? Creating a joint budget and regularly discussing financial issues can help promote mutual understanding and compromises, and that is even needed in the happiest relationships. Speak openly about your salaries and expenses. Did you buy something nice for yourself? Then that is (sometimes) just fine, but be honest about it. Or what if you are saving diligently and he comes home with a new gadget: do you snap at each other right away or do you count to ten? Looking in the mirror can also help with these kinds of romantic arguments. And of course, money is not the most sexy topic for the kitchen table, but sometimes it has to be. Also accept sometimes (both) that you think differently about money, and that you might also earn differently. Then you can again massage each other's feet and spoon in bed with a clear conscience.