This says your sexual fantasy about your personality
Sexual fantasies come in all shapes and sizes: from very vanilla to very kinky; it can all happen. Justin Lehmiller, who researches everything related to sex, even wrote a book about it: Tell Me What You Want.
In this book, he described people's sexual fantasies and what they say about them. Secretly, you can conclude quite a lot from people's sexually charged daydreams. Curious about what your fantasy says about you? Here they come.
1. Fantasies about grand romance and passion: fear of abandonment
Are movies like The Notebook and Titanic your ultimate fantasy (minus the sinking of the ship, of course)? Grand, immersive loves that completely take you over? Then it might be that you suffer from fear of abandonment because you want to compensate for that uncertainty with these grand loves in your head. Hmm…
2. Fantasies about threesomes: attention deficit
According to Lehmiller, this was one of the most common fantasies and he had a clear conclusion about it: these people want attention. Especially in cases where you have a partner and you fantasize about a third person being involved. If you fantasize about being the third person in a couple, then you have more need for adventure than for attention.
3. If you want to be a sub: you want to lose control
Well Lehmiller, this is a bit of a shot in the dark, but okay. When you dive a bit into the BDSM world, you know there is a dom (the one in power) and a sub (the submissive). When you daydream about being a sub, you want to give up all control. You probably also find it an exciting idea that your partner has such an irresistible attraction to you that he/she can’t hold back.
4. If you feel your fantasies are taboo: you want more excitement and to try new things
So don’t worry, because the more you fantasize, the better, according to Lehmiller. You are then more open to trying new things, no matter how strange those fantasies may be.
And last but not least: according to Lehmiller, as you get older, you will only have more sexual fantasies, with an ultimate peak for people who have passed 50. We still have quite a few years to go…
