If you have to say something annoying: always use the spinach tone

I don't think I'm very good at it: delivering bad news. Bringing up a painful subject. I like to beat around the bush and then make a silly joke.

Everything to reduce that uncomfortable feeling for both parties a bit.

It turns out that you can have less pleasant conversations best in the so-called spinach tone. This means: speak softly, almost whispering, as you would quickly tell someone that there is spinach between her teeth. You want to convey your message briefly and powerfully. It is a relaxed way of setting your boundaries: something we all need to do more this year. You clearly indicate what you do not appreciate.

So it doesn't have to be with a lot of fuss or a loud voice: you can keep it concise by directly saying what you need to say. Also avoid a number of words, such as: ‘well’, ’still’ and ‘just’. You then want to make your point too much and you quickly come across as hostile. Lean a little towards that person and say what you want to say: done. By leaning towards someone, you create pleasant contact: you forge a kind of bond. The other person feels that: hey, she trusts me. And then you are also quicker to accept what the other person conveys to you as a message.

For example: I do not find this a pleasant way of collaborating. You lean towards your colleague and say: ‘Shall we take a critical look together this week at a solution for how we are going to meet our target?’. Words like ‘together’ or ‘we’ work very well then. And if you find it difficult to say ‘no’ to something: then avoid the word ‘no’. It feels nicer to do, while you can still make your rejection clear. ‘I am too busy for that right now, but thank you for thinking of me.’.

The spinach tone to feel verbally stronger. Another form of muscle – at least as important.

Source: ivdnt